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“Felix, dear,” Christine tries.
He shoots her an angry stare, being a horrible husband and an awful father, then he jerks his chin toward my parents.
“And you two, I thought you raised a lady, not a whore.”
I blink. Surely, he didn’t say that. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Kaden says so low, the temperature in the room drops.
Felix purses his lips like he didn’t just insult me.
“Did you put the hickey there?” he asks.
“Felix, they’re young,” my father says, and Felix waves him off.
“What we do or not do in our private life is not something we’re going to discuss with you,” Kaden says.
Felix eyes me intently. Chills erupt on my skin. I’m sure he knows about Dane and me.
“To be young again.” Felix lifts his glass in a toast, and I force two bites down. One more and I’d throw up all over the hardwood floor.
The rest of the evening moves to forced small talk. Every minute passes so excruciatingly slow that I sigh a breath of relief when we’re excused.
Felix whispers in my ear at the front door, “I’m expecting you tomorrow at my office. I’m counting on your discretion.”
Fear paralyzes me, and dejection suffocates me, but anger wins. I’m so angry at myself for allowing it to get this far. At the world and the universe for the biggest injustice.
Why would you bring him into my life, to dangle the impossible in my face?
I hate Felix. Hate, hate.
In the passenger seat, I look out the window. I could count the hours until my verdict, make a plan, and run away. So many possibilities. None of them feasible. And telling Kaden would only cause more friction. This is on me.
When Kaden parks the car, I walk out on unsteady feet. I have one destination in mind: to feel Dane one last time. I pray to whatever deity will listen that our bond, our love, will be strong enough for us to reunite one day.
I message him that I am coming over. With every step I take, my heart gets heavier like a ball of lead rolling down my chest and setting low in my ribcage.
His door is slightly ajar, and when I walk inside, tears instantly fall, wetness coating my cheeks. Wiping at them with the back of my hands, I follow the reddish light glowing in the dark.
Outside, smoke tickles my nose. He’s on the small balcony, playing with the lighter.
He drags in a lungful of smoke, his head cocking to me, his eyes fixed on me.
Yes, look and see that this version is not me. You know the real me, but she has no power. She is petrified and alone amongst monsters.
“Should I say congratulations?” His tone is cold enough to cause an arctic winter in the middle of summer. The night turns chillier, or maybe it’s just me freezing on the inside.
I wrap my arms around myself and rock on my toes. He pushes himself off the railing and goes inside, returning with a leather jacket. He drapes it over my shoulders, wrapping me in his scent and warmth. But it’s not enough so I hug him and bury my face in his chest, needing to embed myself in him until we’re one and no one can separate us.
“I don’t need pity nor consolation. He won. You chose him.”
“Please, Dane.”
“One last fuck before you go to him for good?”
I am raw, naked in front of him while he’s blinded by his own pain and anger. Gathering me in his arms, he carries me toward the bed.
In front of it, he places me down. In one swift move, he rips the dress from me and pushes me back down onto the mattress. He comes down on me, his fiery eyes boring into mine.