Lib Novel Page 95
“Tell me to fuck you. Use you like my fuck toy. Fuck you like you’re my plaything and nothing more.”
At this moment, he’s not the lost boy who called to me. Right now, he’s someone who wants to punish me. He’s suffering, and it’s because of me.
He stays above me on his palms, while I hope that love is stronger than pain.
I cup his face, brushing my fingers along his sculpted cheekbones. “I want you to make love to me, but if you can look me in the eye and just fuck me…”
“Do you deserve that?”
“I do.” Because I love you with everything in me.
“Whatever it is, just tell me. Tell me, please. Don’t do this to me, to us. I see your feelings for me, and then you go to him. I don’t fucking understand.”
He buries his head in my neck, and I hold him knowing this is the last time.
“I love you. Promise me, you’re going to get back on the track and make everyone see only your fender. Promise me you will live and those thoughts you have…” I swallow and continue, “Accept them as what they are, thoughts, not actions, nor destiny. You’re in control.”
“You must really be cold and heartless.”
Those words slice through me.
“Do you really think that?”
“I do.”
“Okay, then fuck me—like I’m your plaything and nothing else.”
Why am I dreaming of making love when this is what I deserve, a quick fuck, someone to be forgotten?
As if I would have sacrificed everything I have for a fling. I’m just not lovable enough. I’m not enough. Will never be.
He’s already doubting my love. I got my answer. We were never meant to be the endgame.
He pushes himself off me and says, “Need a condom. You might like to fuck two guys with no protection at once, but I don’t want surprises.”
I gather my dress, tears pooling in my eyes. I can’t have this be our last time together. Coming here was a mistake—a huge one. So, I run. Far enough to preserve what we had. Far enough to end this.
He calls my name, but I don’t stop running.
A hysterical laugh bubbles out of me when I drop in front of the abandoned old mansion.
In shambles just like me.
My head spins, exhaustion crashing over me.
Strong arms lift me. My body shivers so badly, I can’t open my eyes.
In my dream, he carries me and never lets me go.
I should wake up. I need to leave, but a fire crackles near, and his arms are around me—my place.
“Kaden is on the way. What I said… I’m sorry.”
She lays limp in my arms, and agony wraps a noose around my neck, strangling the life out of me. This girl is going to be the death of me. I pull her to my chest, desperate to take her with me.
I’m contemplating kidnapping. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Placing her gently on the ground, I make a small fire to warm her. I’m a fucking mess as I call Kaden, and then place her head on my lap, caressing her hair. She moans my name softly.