Graceless (Grace Notes #2)

“Oh, for god’s sake!” Lane strode up to her. “I clearly care about you, okay?”

Cassidy looked back at them. Whatever she saw in their face and agitated movements made her shoulders drop. She nodded.

“Okay. Thank you, I guess.” They looked at each other for a beat. “Well, I’m going to go,” she said awkwardly, turning again. Lane rolled their eyes – at themself, at the situation, at the world – before all but flinging themself after her.

“Cassidy, would you just please stop?” they pleaded. “Let me just talk to you, for like, a single second.”

Cassidy stopped. She looked at them for a long moment, then with a sigh, stepped off the walking track and flung herself down on the soft cool grass. Lane joined her, sitting a foot away, trying to gather the thoughts that had felt so clear before they’d laid eyes on her again and everything had gotten hazy.

“This morning,” they said. “It came out wrong. My brain was literally not functioning because my hand was on your ass.” They whispered the last part with the reverence it deserved. Cassidy spluttered out a surprised laugh.

“Not your finest moment,” she agreed wryly.

“No. But here’s what I was trying to say. I didn’t mean that you were using me. I meant that as far as I see it, you’re pleasure seeking.” Cassidy blinked at them. “You’ve been…freed, I guess, from your previous life, and you’re trying out all kinds of new ways to be and new experiences to have. It’s not a bad thing; actually, I think it’s fucking wonderful. You should have new experiences. I love that for you. Then you figured me for someone who was great in bed-”

“I did think that, but now I’ve spent more time with you I’ve revised it to merely adequate.” Cassidy raised her chin.

“You’re such a liar.” Lane found themself grinning, but Cassidy didn’t give an inch. “Look: I’m around, we obviously have chemistry-” god, that was an understatement, “-and we started to cross some lines. To scratch the itch, as I so gracefully put it. It happens.”

“And as for you, using me?” Cassidy looked at them flatly. She couldn’t seem to let go of that. God, Lane was a dick.

“For me,” they hesitated, “it’s a slightly different situation. I’ve had different experiences. I also have different, uh, potential outlets. You’ve been pretty much marooned here since you got here. I have social circles and a life outside this house.”

“You have all the Mias,” she translated flatly.

“Well, yeah,” Lane admitted. “If I need to scratch an itch, there’s pretty much always an option.”

Cassidy looked the opposite of impressed. The gaze she gave them was straight up withering.

“That’s so great, Lane,” she said sarcastically. “So why have we been fooling around, exactly?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you!” Lane burst out. “Because you’re so fucking beautiful, I turn into a sex-crazed idiot around you. God, Cassidy, the problem for me is that you are the itch.”

Cassidy’s lips parted in a slow intake of breath. She stared. Lane stared back, their face hot.

“Oh,” was all she said.

“And,” they quickly added, “you’re my employer’s little sister. And we live together. And,” they looked down at the grass, “you’re right, in that sometimes I’m not even sure we like each other. We’re so damn different.”

Cassidy digested that for a while. They sat in silence, the darkness creeping, the crickets and the frogs starting to sing.

“You’re wrong about one thing,” she said eventually.

“Oh, yeah?”

“I’ve been asked out twice this week,” she informed them. Something in the pit of Lane’s stomach twisted, hard. “A bartender, while I was out with Coral, and one of the sound techs at the studio.”

“That’s great,” they said automatically. Why did that feel like actual pain? Just a bit?

“Yeah,” said Cassidy. “I didn’t take either of them up on it, because of how I was already sneaking around with someone hot, but it sounds like I probably should.”

No, you shouldn’t, Lane shouted, but just in their brain.

“Probably,” they just about managed, frowning down at the grass between their shoes.

“Okay then,” Cassidy sighed. “To summarize.” She leaned back on her hands and looked at Lane. “You want me, but it’s too complicated and you think I’m a jerk.”

“I-” They frowned. “I think we’re different,” they corrected. She gave a small smile.