Graceless (Grace Notes #2)

“Mmhmm,” she continued. “You have other options to fool around with, and you think I should go out there and find some, too.”

“I-” The words literally stuck in their throat. Cassidy raised her eyebrows. “I mean-“ Lane could not make themself say it.

“Spit it out, Lane.” Cassidy looked at them calmly. “Tell me to fuck other people.”

Lane stared at her. They opened their mouth, then closed it again. Cassidy watched, her head slightly cocked, waiting.

“Argh!” Lane threw up their hands. They leaned all the way in and kissed her, hard. She let out a quick surprised breath then kissed them right back; within two seconds she was pushed flat in the grass, Lane’s body pressing her down as they kissed each other desperately. Cassidy’s hands clung tight to their body, clutching their back, slipping up their shirt and down inside their shorts, her hands more than getting their own back for Lane’s indiscretion in the kitchen earlier. Little gasps and moans spilled from her mouth – oh god and from Lane’s mouth too – as they ground down into her, wanting to melt all the way into her warm, yielding body.

The feeling of her drove them wild: the soft breasts pressed against their chest, the tight hips pushing up against their own, the heat of the mouth they couldn’t stop tasting. Lane could not get enough of her. With a desperate internal struggle, they pulled back, the two of them panting, staring, fingers clutching tight to the other. Cassidy’s lips were kiss-swollen and shining in the dark.

“Fuck, Cassie.” Their voice cracked. “Everything I just said, I still stand by. But…I can’t tell you to fuck someone else. I’m… I’m-” They felt crazed. “I’m so fucking into you.”

“I know.” Her voice was breathless, her blue eyes wide. “Me too.”

Lane stroked back her hair, tucked it behind her ear, cupping her face before their hand drifted slowly away. Cassidy’s lips parted, neither of them used to tenderness sneaking in. Lane was about to kiss her again, almost to distract from the softness of their touch, when Cassidy’s hand came up and pressed back against their chest to stop them.

“To summarize,” she said again, and Lane smiled. “You’re into me. So into me.” Cassidy’s lower lip quirked. “And you don’t want me to fuck other people. But you’re not sure you actually like me and our lives are too mixed up together for us to go any further.”

“Yes.” That really did about sum it up.

“So, on balance, we really should stop fooling around.” She looked up at Lane, her skin still flushed from their kisses, her lips full and pink even in the dim light.

“Probably?” Lane was still on top of her. They ran their hand down the side of her body, so reluctant to let go. Cassidy smiled.

“Okay. Well.” She cocked her head from where she lay, her golden hair spilling around her into the dark grass. “On the count of three, perhaps?”

Lane took one last longing nip of her soft lower lip, then pulled back and looked her in the eye.

“Okay.”

Cassidy counted. On two, she firmly squeezed Lane’s ass one last time in farewell, but on three she let go. Lane rolled off her and gazed up at the first stars gleaming into view They lay side by side in silence for a long moment, just breathing together, before Cassidy sat up.

“I’m so glad we had this talk,” she said, her voice light. Lane rolled their eyes into the darkness. They got to their feet and reached down a hand to pull her up. They didn’t want to let go of her fingers, but after a few seconds, they did.

Chapter Fifteen

The following morning, Cassidy looked into her wardrobe like she was staring into the abyss. The problem with owning so many new clothes was that it made what should be a basic decision incredibly complicated. It was a Friday and Brynn had already told her it would be a half day in the studio so she could come home and spend it with her family. Cassidy hadn’t decided yet if she’d use the opportunity to drift around Nashville and explore on her own, or come back home for a quiet day.

It should be a dress, she figured. A cute one, just in case. One that made her feel confident, but also looked good with her comfy chucks so she could walk around town, for hours, should she choose to. Her fingers brushed along her dress rack. They passed a pretty floral print and she paused. Her breath caught in her chest as she remembered Lane’s fingers on the buttons, uncovering her with hungry eyes before their lips and tongue made her feel like she was coming right out of her skin with pleasure.

So not that one, then.

Or maybe that one?

Little bolts of pleasure ran through her as she imagined Lane’s eyes on her body, knowing they wanted her, but wouldn’t let themself have her. Cassidy was going to struggle perhaps even more, now she understood what that evasive caramel eye contact meant: Lane trying their hardest not to stare at her, doing everything they could to hide how much they desired her.

It was lucky that Lane was the one putting the brakes on. Cassidy knew they were right to, that their reasons were entirely valid. The problem was that she just couldn’t make herself care. When Lane asked what would happen next if they went to bed together, it was on the tip of her tongue to retort that duh, they’d do it again. And again. And hopefully, again.

The strength of her own desire had come as a shock to Cassidy. It had started with a slow burn in her belly as she’d watched the shining drops of water slide down Lane’s well cut torso at the poolside, another girl’s obvious eyes all over them. It had crept up louder as she’d told herself it was perfectly innocent and reasonable that she’d practically staked a claim over Lane as Mia had watched; of course, it was totally to help Lane out, and not because a sliver of unexpected jealousy had reared its head at the sight of the attentive green-haired beauty.

Want had pooled inside her when Lane, devastatingly handsome at her side backstage at the Ryman, had stumblingly called her gorgeous and zealously guarded her against potential, entirely theoretical interference. It had flared again when she’d called them her boyfriend, feeling both the firmness of their body as she’d pressed herself into them, and the hammer of their heartbeat under her fingertips.

So she’d known it was there, all before they’d climbed the field tower together. But there, alone with them, on a picnic blanket under the stars, she’d shocked herself with her determination to feel their strong hands all over her body. Seducing Lane had been surprisingly easy, at least at first, as though Lane had been just waiting for any excuse to threaten to do delicious things with her body. Their about-face halfway through had left her spinning.

But oh god, the aftermath. Cassidy thought of those four minutes in the pool at least twenty times a day. It had felt so close, like any second Lane would finally touch her, and Cassidy had known she would fall apart when they did.

Lane was right. She had – beyond accurately, it turned out – assessed them as being highly likely to know how to make a girl feel good. But she’d thoroughly underestimated the effect they would have on her. Within moments, she went from curious and excited to wild and desperate in a way she’d never even suspected she was capable of.