Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

She pinched me. “One of these days, I’m going to be just as smug as you and shove your nose in it.”

“That’s the spirit. Don’t give up.” I laughed. “Besides, I’ll never be jealous as I’m never letting Ryder stray from my honey trap so we’ll both be smug together.”

“Does he know he’s a prisoner for life?”

“He has an inkling.”

She sighed, letting Visa leap from her lap before draping her arms over the back of the couch. “Man, it feels good to tell you, though. I’ve been holding that in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I did my best to hide the hurt in my tone. “We tell each other everything. Crap, you should’ve texted me while on the date and sent a picture of the buffoon with pasta face.”

“That would’ve been rude.”

“True. And that would be bad because we are respectable, tolerant women who don’t judge.”

We burst into laughter.

Leaning over, I kissed her cheek. “Well, he doesn’t know what he missed out on. Lucky for me, you’re still all mine.”

Polly cracked a smile. “Is it wrong that I fantasised he choked on his pasta and some sexy waiter came up, gave him the Heimlich, and then took one look at me and ordered me into the supply closet to make up for the gorilla I was on a date with?”

“Nope. It means you have a healthy libido and one day soon, some guy is going to be very, very lucky.”

She hugged me. “I love you, Vessie. Somehow, you’ve already made me feel better. I know I’m in for a world of pain finding ‘the one’ but I’m glad I can share my disastrous attempts with you.”

“You’ll always have me.”

“Even when you’re preggers and shacked up?”

“I thought we agreed that multiplying with our own children wasn’t going to happen. Creatures that need adopting will be my babies of choice.”

“In that case, I’ll offer my services as animal nanny.”

I shook my head. “You’ll be too busy looking after your own brood and beyond-sexy-awesome husband.”

Polly sighed. “Finding a man I trust and could fall in love with seems less likely than me flying to Jupiter and finding a handsome alien to probe.”

I laughed. “I think you’ll find the aliens do the probing, not the humans.”

She grinned coyly. “Not if he wants a go with me. I have a sudden fascination of sampling my dominatrix side.”

I couldn’t help it. I blurted in one running sentence, “I did that the other night while Ryder wore a dog collar and I ordered him around the bedroom and oh my God it was the hottest thing and wow I want to do it again.”

She froze. “I had no idea you were so kinky.”

“Neither did I. Until him.”

“Seems he’s made you open doors you’d kept locked, huh?”

I shrugged. “Seems that way.”

“And unlocked your heart.”

I turned into a gooey mess. “And definitely unlocked my heart.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this conversation.” Untangling herself and pushing away a demanding cat and dog, Polly said, “Time for vodka, bad food, and silly movies.”

“I’m down.”