Can't Touch This (Can't Touch This #1)

Ten minutes later, we had our adult juices and hands full of popcorn. Settling on the floor, we draped our legs with the blanket Polly had brought and turned on a rom-com courtesy of Netflix and vegged.

* * *

Ryder: I miss you so goddamn much. My brother is fun, but he’s not you.

Me: I miss you, too. It’s been an enlightening evening and I’m even more grateful for what we have.

Ryder: I like hearing that. Just how grateful are we talking, exactly?

Me: Blow job every day for a week and then any position you want grateful.

Ryder: Wow, that much? I might have to oblige with your needs.

Me: I have so many needs.

Ryder: And I’ll do everything in my power to satisfy each and every itch.

Me: If you do, I’ll feel guilty. I already feel guilty.

Ryder: What on earth for? If anyone deserves some sexy pampering, it’s you.

Me: Polly struck an ignoramus on her last foray into the dating cesspool. She has no one while I have…

Ryder: Me? You have me. You can say it. And everyone encounters a dickhead while searching for the perfect ending. Hell, I had an ex that made me almost swear off women forever.

Okay, didn’t really want to discuss exes while talking about our naughty bits getting it on, but whatever. I could ignore it and continue with the happier thread.

Me: I was going to say I have the most wonderful incredible down-right sexy man ever created but yeah, I guess just a simple answer would suffice.

Ryder: My brother is passed out from beer. Come here. I need to start redeeming these grateful gifts you want to give me. My cock heard the word blow job and is insanely interested.

Me: Would love to but can’t. Polly needs me. She hates anyone with a deep voice and a third leg right now.

Ryder: Well, bring her here, too. My brother gets bored easily. He’ll need entertaining. Both of you should spend the day with us tomorrow.

Me: I’m not so sure that would be a good idea.

“God, what time is it?” Polly turned over, covering her eyes from the glare of my phone. We’d fallen asleep thanks to too many vodkas and binge watching on the floor.

“Almost three a.m., go back to sleep.” My fingers hovered over the keypad, ready to tell my man that he needed to respect girl time.

However, she murmured, “Are you messaging Ryder?”

“Yes.”

“Is he calling for booty?”

I smiled; glad she could still make a joke while dealing with dating disappointment. “No. He’s badgering me to bring you around to his place tomorrow.”

Sleep left her gaze. “Really?”

I nodded. “His older brother is in town. He’s offered us to go over together.”

Apprehension filled her gaze. “Oh no, another male. You haven’t met his brother, right? Can you confirm he’s not an imbecile with nose-picking fetishes or strange eating customs?”

Oh, Pol.

“I can’t. But if he’s anything like Ryder, he’s going to be a gruff, sarcastic teddy-bear with a heart of gold.”