Lib Novel Page 34
I try to shrug casually. “I’m just saying. My wolf is latent, so maybe he asked around about me and decided he didn’t want a damaged shifter as his mate. I don’t fault him for it.”
“If that’s his reason,” Drew says fiercely, “then he really doesn’t deserve you. Anybody can have a latent wolf. It’s not like we live in full form as it is. If he wants to be a superficial bastard—”
He’s getting himself all worked up, and I lift my hands placatingly. “I’m not saying that’s what it is. I’m just suggesting it could be that. Or maybe I’m simply not attractive enough for him.”
Drew waves off my second concern. “There’s nothing wrong with your looks. I don’t know what this guy’s problem is, but if you tell me who he is, I can go have a chat with him.”
When Drew moved here and I befriended him, he stepped into the role of older brother. Given our ten-year age difference, it made sense. I never had a family, so it’s nice to have him defend me like this. It makes me feel less lonely, and the haze of bitterness and misery starts to fade.
“Thanks.” I give him a small smile. “But there’s no point confronting someone just because they’re not interested in me. I can’t make somebody like me, Drew. Besides, aside from the physical attraction, it’s not like I’m head over heels for him. I’ll get over this. Fated mate or not, I won’t let it drag me down.”
Drew picks up his tea and swirls the liquid in the cup idly. “It’s not that easy to overcome rejection from your fated mate, Sophia. But it’s not unheard of. I remember learning about it. The fated mate bond keeps pushing two shifters together. It’s going to become harder to ignore each other. If this person says you’re not his type, it’s a lie. The attraction between fated mates is intense, and it keeps growing after their first encounter. Biology dictates that their relationship become physical; the Goddess hardwired us this way. So whatever his reasons are for pushing you away, attraction isn’t one of them. He’s lying through his teeth about that.”
I look away from Drew. If he’s right, then it has to be because of my latent wolf.
“But if you keep your distance from him,” Drew continues, “over time, the bond will weaken. Just because you have a fated mate doesn’t mean you can’t find yourself a different mate in the future. A fated mate bond isn’t set in stone. The bond can sever if the mates don’t get along. However, if you keep interacting with each other, it’s going to keep intensifying. Try to make sure that your dealings with him are limited. Honestly, though, I don’t have a very high opinion of this man. Whoever he is, you can do much better than him.”
His words make me smile again. “Maybe.”
Drew gives me a serious look. “I really do think you need to put yourself out there. You avoid the other shifters in this town, and I know you don’t attend the pack runs, either.”
I try to play it off. “What am I going to do at a pack run?”
“The pack socializes over a bonfire and food after the run. Don’t make excuses. You might find someone you connect with.”
I really don’t want to be having this conversation. “I’m not interested in socializing, Drew. I don’t think dating is for me.”
“You won’t know until you try it,” is the response I receive. “Maybe you’ll find somebody who understands and likes you. Do you want to stay alone forever? Life is very long, Sophia. You need somebody to share it with. I didn’t realize that until I lost Katie.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong, but I shut up. I know it’s a very childish mindset that I have, but my reasons are practical. My lack of a wolf is public knowledge in this town. Nobody has ever asked me out. And I don’t think I can handle being humiliated if I even consider putting myself in such a vulnerable position. Being alone seems to be a safer alternative.
I lower my head, knowing Drew is like a dog with a bone. He’s not going to drop this.
I cross my arms over my chest. “I’ll think about it.”
He gives me a dubious look but thankfully doesn’t push the topic.
I know he means well, but at the end of the day, Drew isn’t standing in my shoes. I can understand his logic, but he and I are walking different paths in life. He has experienced life as a shifter who can change forms. He is complete. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be ostracized for not being able to shift. Even if he’s not on good terms with the pack security, he’s not being rejected by the pack. Meanwhile, my presence and existence are just barely tolerated. I don’t want to be harsh to him because I know he’s looking out for me, but sometimes I feel like I’m screaming into the void.
He’s going to say what he’s going to say, but Drew will never truly understand why I have chosen not to put myself out there—and why I never will.
*** **
I know I can’t hide from the world forever. Drew’s visit last night gave me what I needed to kick-start my brain. It’s not as if I am in love with Alex or even like him as a person. It was simply the idea that he represented. I’m just going to make it a point to stay away from him.
He and his friends have become consistent diners at the bar. The past couple of days, when they’ve come in, I’ve gone on my break or retreated to the storage room to deal with one thing or another. Elsa hasn’t noticed yet, but I’m sure she will soon. I didn’t want to cross paths with Alex, but if I’m hiding from him, doesn’t that make me a coward?
I’ve never been a coward. And I have no reason to hide from him. I’ve done nothing wrong.
Although, now that I have Drew’s suggestion in mind that I should stay as far away from Alex as possible, I no longer want to. The humiliation and hurt have faded into anger. He sought me out on the beach; he didn’t have to do that. It’s almost as if he went out of his way to let me know that I am worthy of him.
“Worthy of him,” I scoff, cleaning one of the coffee jars vigorously. “Who would want him anyway? I’d rather get a dog than be with him.”
“Excuse me?” Elsa passes by me, tossing me an odd look.
“Nothing.” I give her a tight smile. “Just talking to myself.”
“You really shouldn’t do that, Sophia,” Elsa says disapprovingly. “That’s not a healthy habit.”