Lib Novel Page 33
“I don’t have—”
Unfortunately, before I can finish my sentence, he opens one of the small tins on the counter and retrieves two lavender tea bags. His expression turns into a grimace, and I point out, “You’re not a tea person, Drew. Why’re you doing this?”
He gives me a hard look. “You need a friend right now. I don’t know what has happened, but you clearly need somebody to talk to. You’re always there for me and Tim, so I want to be here for you.”
I want to argue with him, but for a brief moment, some of the loneliness abates. I’ve been stuck in this rut of self-pity ever since that day at the beach. I’ve tried to convince myself I don’t care, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t exactly turn my heart into stone. I know I’ll be fine at some point, but right now, I want to wallow in this numbness that borders on misery.
“I really don’t want company tonight, Drew,” I say in a quiet voice. “I just want to be left alone for a few days. I’ll be fine.”
Drew is putting the kettle on the stove, his back to me. At my words, he lets out a heavy sigh. His hands curl on the wooden counter, and I see his muscles bunch up under his shirt.
“I understand that.” His voice is low. “When Katie died, I also didn’t want company. When I was still grieving months later, I still wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to raise my son and be by myself. And when I moved here, I still didn’t want anyone around. But you kept coming over, Sophia. You kept dropping off something or other. You were quite young, and you were dealing with your own issues. You didn’t have to do those things, and I knew you never had any ulterior motives for coming around and helping me with Tim. You were just trying to comfort me. You helped me out during a very painful time in my life when I was determined to push everyone away. You never had to do any of that. My heart was broken, and you gave me a shoulder to lean on.” He turns around and looks at me. “You have the same look in your eyes that I did when I lost Katie. You look like your heart has been broken. So, I want to be here for you, whether you like it or not.”
I want to tell him that he’s being presumptuous, that I don’t need anyone. I want to tell him it’s not the same thing. But the words won’t come. Instead, a wave of misery and agony washes over me, my wolf whimpering inside my mind, the crippling pain of rejection reminding me how no one wants me, not even the person the Goddess picked for me.
I summon up my courage to tell him to leave, to say I can handle this, but my eyes are burning, and I can’t seem to form the right words.
Sensing my distress, Drew takes a step toward me. I immediately hold up my hand, stopping him in his tracks. “N—No.”
My voice breaks, and I see wrinkles form on his brow, worry and concern clashing on his face. “Sophia…”
I look at my friend, unable to stop the tears falling from my eyes. “He didn’t want me, Drew. My fated mate didn’t want me.”
Chapter 7
Sophia Hope
I guess I didn’t realize that I had simply suppressed my appetite. As I munch on the fries, sitting cross-legged on my couch, a cup of tea before me on the coffee table, I feel slightly better. Of course, that could also have to do with the fact that I just cried like a little baby not five minutes ago. I’ve never been someone who sheds tears. It was my first lesson as a child. Crying was pointless. It only ever served to get me in trouble.
I can’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone. I never expected Drew to actually comfort me.
It was a nice feeling.
I glance at my friend. He has a brooding expression on his face, his gaze fixed on some invisible spot on the coffee table. He hasn’t touched his tea. It’s just been sitting there. I’m waiting for him to say something because I feel awkward. It’s not easy for me to be vulnerable with anyone, and while life has knocked me down more than a couple times, I’ve always gotten back up and dusted myself off. This time, it’s a little different. It’s harder to tell myself to get over it. When I try to, my wolf remains listless.
Maybe if I could shift and let it out, it might be able to go on a run and deal with its emotions. But even though I managed to wake up the dormant beast inside me years ago, I’ve never been able to shift forms.
Unable to take the awkward silence anymore, I begin, “Drew—”
“Did he admit that he was your fated mate?”
“No.” I look down at my cold fries, my appetite waning. I don’t want to talk about this, about Alex. “But he knew.” I let out a heavy sigh. “I could tell. He was itching his mating spot area like crazy, and when I tried to stop him, his reaction was off.”
“Has he managed to catch your scent?” Drew demands.
I shake my head, thinking about my scent blockers. “No. But I got injured when Freddy attacked me. I was bleeding. He definitely scented my blood.”
The same happened to me, now that I think about it. When he saved me from Freddy, I accidentally scratched Alex’s wrist, and he bled slightly.
Drew frowns. “Well, you’re a lovely person, and he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. It’s his loss.”
I beam at him, his unexpected praise cheering me up. I lift one of the fries in the air. “Hear, hear.”
I’ve spent the last couple of days lying in bed and wondering what made me so unappealing to Alex. I don’t have low self-esteem, so my first reaction isn’t to jump to my looks.
“Do you think it’s because I can’t shift?”
Drew starts. “What?”