Sunshine Kisses

He smiled that tiny, secret smile again—their smile—and she melted.

‘Your turn.’

‘Truth,’ she replied boldly. She’d just admitted her biggest secret. There was nothing more he could ask that would be more of a bombshell than that.

‘I know I said we didn’t have to talk about this, but I have to try. When I walked in on you last night, were you saying my name?’ He stared directly at her, eyes sparkling. She knew he knew. He just wanted to hear her say it. ‘You can drink if you don’t want to answer. But I would really, really like you to answer.’

‘Erik…’

‘Please.’

A desperation she had never heard in his voice burned away some of her shame. This was Erik. And they didn’t talk about stuff like this. She didn’t talk about stuff like this, except after way too much tequila on girls’ night, and that was mainly a whispered admission of how rare any kind of pleasure, particularly solo, was for her. But for him, if they were crossing this line beyond their friendship, maybe she could try.

‘Yes, okay? I was thinking about you. I’m sorry.’ She braced herself for the wave of embarrassment that should have accompanied the admission. Instead, she found…peace? Perhaps that wasn’t the right word, but the pleased smile playing around Erik’s lips made acceptance an easier space to reach.

‘Why are you sorry?’ He leaned forward, curiosity lighting his eyes.

‘It’s weird! You’re my best friend and I shouldn’t have been…I don’t know, fantasising about you like that.’

‘Abby, I pick truth,’ Erik’s voice cut through her rambling. ‘Ask me what I thought when I opened that door.’

She did.

‘I thought it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. I thought how much I wanted to make you look like that. In the moment, I panicked, because you clearly were too. I only clocked what you’d been saying after I left. And then I got so fucking hard. Fuck, just thinking about it…’ His eyes shuttered as he dragged a hand over his face.

Abby’s eyes flicked down to his lap. Those joggers did nothing to hide him, and the sight made her mouth water.

‘I’ve been one stray thought away from public indecency all day. If I’d realised what I was hearing while I was still in here, seeing you look like that…you’d have absolutely no doubt how much I want you.’

She’d always thought his voice was perfect, but only in her weakest moments had she imagined it rough with desire like this, telling her he wanted her. She wondered how she could wrap herself in it and never leave.

‘So don’t be sorry. Don’t be embarrassed. Seeing you like that was a fucking dream.’

Masturbation always left her feeling shame, and after he’d shut the door, she had been filled with it. But knowing the effect it had on him—seeing it clearly on display—melted some of that away.

They’d crossed a line they’d been toeing for years, one it would be near impossible to return from. And that thought had her trembling in anticipation as she whispered, ‘Dare.’

‘Invite me to join you on the bed,’ Erik said softly.

‘You’ve never needed an invitation before,’ Abby said, aiming for bravado to hide the shake in her voice.

‘We’ve never done what we’re about to do.’

Images of green satin, a crumpled white shirt, a lake surrounded by trees flashed through her mind. ‘We haven’t?’

‘Not like this.’

Was her body on fire? She thought she might be burning up from the inside as she patted the space next to her silently, not taking her eyes off him.

When he was settled, taking great pains not to touch her with any part of him, he said, ‘I know I have to pick dare next, but there’s one more truth I need to tell first.’

Abby nodded for him to go on. For the first time that evening, he looked stressed. He hesitated for a second, rubbing his hand over his face. It was a rare reminder of the strange dichotomy of Erik: a perfect meeting point of quiet confidence and nervous energy. At once entirely comfortable with who he was and brimming with anxiety over navigating a world always set to assault his senses.

‘I wasn’t working over New Year’s. They gave me a few days off, and I came back to England. I went into Soho on New Year’s Eve and found my way to a little pub. That one we always said we’d visit when we got old enough. They were hosting a masquerade party. And I found the prettiest girl in the room. She had long blonde hair, as radiant as sunshine.’

Abby drew in a ragged breath. That party was seared into her memory. It had only been two weeks after her night with Finn. Still raw from that experience and the meltdown that had followed, she’d had no desire to hook up with anyone. But when a gentle hand had touched her shoulder and she’d made out the words ‘Can I kiss you?’ on a pair of soft-looking lips peeking out below a full mask, she’d figured there couldn’t be much harm in engaging in the midnight tradition.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she breathed.