Sunshine Kisses

‘Did he propose? Is that why you broke up?’

‘Why—what would make you ask that?’

Erik inhaled sharply and took a swig of whiskey. ‘Alex. Alex saw him ring shopping about a year ago.’

‘He didn’t,’ Abby said quickly. ‘He didn’t propose. He was considering it. But…same as you and Casey, I guess. I wasn’t ready to move forward. Not with him.’ She wondered how similar his breakup had looked to hers. If the same conclusions had been drawn about their relationship.

‘Fuck, Abby.’ Erik handed her the bottle and her throat burned as she swallowed. It hurt in the best way. ‘I’m sorry.’

A warm, tingly feeling was already spreading through Abby’s body, and she was beginning to feel bolder. ‘Are you? Sorry?’

Erik bit his lip, breaking eye contact fully for the first time as he dropped his gaze.

‘Because I’m not.’

Beautiful pools of grey snapped back up to meet her eyes.

‘He was great. Really great. But he deserved better than what I could give him. It wouldn’t have worked out.’

They were veering into dangerous territory.

‘We’re not great at following those drinking rules,’ Abby said, lifting the bottle in a salute before taking another swig. She handed the bottle back.

‘Good. I’m so fucking sick of following the rules, Sunshine.’ His voice, low and rough, made her chest ache. And with every round they were skating closer to those truths she’d kept buried for so long.

Erik took a deep swallow. Her eyes tracked the bob of his throat. It sent heat searing through her.

‘The other day, you said there were things you weren’t willing to compromise on. With Sam. Was I one of those things?’ Erik asked.

Abby nodded slowly.

‘He wanted you to choose? Between him and me?’

‘Not exactly.’

‘Then why—’

‘That’s three questions, you little cheat. My turn.’

Erik frowned, but chose truth. He was making no secret of the fact that he wanted tonight to be about confessions.

It was the question she’d been wanting to ask for two days, and a few swallows of whiskey made the words tumble out quickly. ‘Why were you really so pissed about Finn?’

He tugged on his hair; Abby tugged her mind out of the gutter it immediately fell into. He seemed to be struggling with exactly what he wanted to say, and when he reached for the bottle again, Abby feared that she’d pushed too far already.

But finally he answered. ‘Because I wanted to be the person taking you out for a drink. Not like we did the other night. Not reminding myself constantly to hold back so I don’t come on too strong. Not sitting there as the guy who’s known you since before you could crawl. Just…two adults sharing an amazing evening together, both knowing how it’s going to end.’

Her stomach tightened as she worked through that confession. The way he acted now was him holding back? As for knowing how the night was going to end? That tripped her up most of all, as for the second time in twenty-four hours, she imagined Erik laying her down on a bed while she clawed at his shoulders.

‘And because you’re an amazing, intelligent marvel of a woman, and I couldn’t stand the idea that he gets to look at you like you’re all those things, while I keep standing on the sidelines as your friend.’ The word was soaked in acid as he uttered it.

‘What’s wrong with being my friend?’ she breathed, praying she would finally hear the words she’d been longing for.

Erik looked up at her, eyebrows drawn together, imploring. ‘What’s wrong is not being more,’ he admitted softly. ‘And Abby, if you really don’t think of me like that, it’s fine, okay? We can forget I said anything and just go on with our lives, but—’

There it was. The confirmation she’d wanted for years.

‘I don’t want that,’ Abby said quickly. ‘I don’t want to pretend I haven’t been feeling…more.’