Sink With Me

“You didn’t think you were always Dutton’s favorite, did you?” She pulls me along, making my feet sink into the cool sand and my head reel. I always assumed she joined our faction late. I never thought of where she came from or her prior accomplishments, but that begs the question of where the hell she went in that time frame. Dutton never let me leave or stop moving so why did she get to?

I hum in understanding.

We walk across the beach to another lining of fences, then behind a large building. I’ve hardly ever gotten out of the base, so it’s not unusual that I have no clue where the hell we are. A small cargo plane flashes its lights, showing Karama where it’s at. Just like before, the only emotion I can feel is rage. It’s almost as if I’ve reverted to the monster, they made me to be. I never realized until now how much I hate the version of myself.

“Wait.” I plant my feet to where she can’t pull us any further. “Did you know it was him? At the fair–on that mission. Did you know it was him?”

The words are hardly out of my mouth before she’s already answering with a shrug. I should’ve known she wouldn’t give me anything to work with.

“You should stop asking questions.” Karma moves behind me as we approach the loading bridge.

A soldier steps to the side of the stairway. I hit the top, and a powerful scent of cologne hits my nose, making me cough. My body tenses like the smell can trigger everything I’ve endured in the past. Lives flash before my eyes that I’ve taken and my parents’ voices ring in my ears. Seats line the walls with chest straps buckled in the empty areas. Multiple cargo containers sit at the back strapped to the floor, creating an undertone of cedar and ammunition.

“You came more willingly than I thought you would, Cordi.”

Breathe, think. Depth is fucked, but so is Bay. There are so many missing puzzle pieces leaving me stuck. The only persistent jagged piece is the man looking at me. The soldier from outside the plane steps behind me while Karma takes her place beside me.

“You did good.” He flattens his hand over his tie as he stands. My arms instinctively wrap behind my back to find Caspian’s blade tucked securely below my waistband. Dutton doesn’t get to torture me anymore. Unlike Daymen and the Ocean, Tide taught me I hold the power to think on my own.

Dutton sucks the back of his teeth, studying me from head to toe.

“I would’ve been better if my ship wasn’t sunk.”

“Ah, yes, that was a sad inconvenience.”

I scoff, shaking my head. Inconvenience. Right. My hands tighten together at my back. There’s no need for me to be nervous.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have made dumb ass relationship comments then it wouldn’t have–” Karma’s words cause my head to jerk in her direction at the same time as Dutton shoves her into the side of the plane by her throat.

“Two goddamn ships, Karma. I can’t keep cleaning up your fuck ups.” Dutton clears his throat, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye before stepping back. My nostrils flare in Karmas’ direction. Her? Sinking my teeth into my cheek hard enough, I can taste blood. If I was sunk simply because I remarked on her and Dutton being together, then what was her reason for my parents?

We didn’t sink your ship’s siren. Tides voice whispers in my ear, taunting me with the fact I could never accept.

All this time, she was right under my nose. For once, my brain finally feels like it’s on its own track. Thinking in a way any normal person would and not in a way I was taught.

“Two?” My voice is calm, but the blood that rushes through my veins says the complete opposite. Dutton groans, pushing off Karma.

“Karma’s training didn’t go as well as yours. Somewhere along the way something broke in her dense head. Thus, ending in her temper getting the best of her. I believe it’s because she’s my child so she has that rebellious side that can’t be fixed.” Dutton states casually. He steps towards me, but I step back, bumping into the soldier. I’m such an idiot. How did I miss that? Glancing between them, I can see the storm brewing in their eyes both dark and gray and the chisel of their jaws matching.

He’s too close, I’m trapped between his body and another. Each breath Dutton takes fans against my features, making me bite back a gag.

“Yours, however.” He pauses, letting out a proud laugh. “I made something impeccable out of you. We could’ve been great, Cordi. Stationed men and women in every country, the world would’ve learned who was in charge.” He shakes his head and glances at Karma, who turns her back on me to head to the front of the plane.

“What are you talking about?”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I can still clean up the mess you created. You might have to spend a few years in the facility but look at Karma—it helps.” Dutton purrs, brushing a stray hair from my face to tuck it behind my ear. All along I was manipulated, but not by the side I thought. My breathing shallows and bile rises in my throat. Caspian. I should’ve trusted him from the beginning.

I gather saliva under my tongue before letting it spew across his face.

“Detain her.” He calls out, brushing his thumb across his cheek, waving his hand dismissively, and turning his back to me. The men crowd around, making my heart race. I’ve been in worse situations; I’ve fought harder battles. It’s just more blood on my hands but I can live with that because I will live for him.

Okay, breathe.

Date: 5-17-2024

Time: 0557

“Caspian.” My father murmurs, but I’m too focused on trying to make the bleeding stop but it’s flowing too fast. His hands clasp over mine, trying to slow my motions and pull my attention.