Savior Complex: A Small Town Love Triangle Romance

I don’t want to forgive her. I’ve held on to my anger for so long—especially against her—that I don’t know how to be without it.

But it’s more than all that, and I know it. I don’t want to forgive her because I’m jealous of her. Even admitting that to myself feels embarrassing and icky, but I am. She’s tall and gorgeous while I’m short and frumpy. Her clothes are elegantly styled while mine are thrifted and colorful. She has perfect tan skin, and I just discovered a new zit on the side of my nose this morning. She’s close with her mom—at least now it seems—and my mom only calls me when she needs something.

And she got the guy.

Fuck. I can’t believe I’m being this petty and childish. She got the guy because she met him first. It doesn’t matter how I feel about him, or that we experienced this unreal connection. He’s not mine.

I look at her outstretched hand, then at the cautious question in her face. The one that seeks forgiveness, to repair our lost friendship, to come back to what we once had.

We aren’t there, and it will take so much time to get there; but it has to start somewhere, right?

I take her hand, and she squeezes it. But I pull away.

“Look, I’m not an idiot. I know you’re just playing nice because you need a place to stay, and I have the room. So let’s not act like this is anything more than it is.”

“I really do want to repair this rift between us,” she says. I shoot her a narrow-eyed look, and she sighs. “Fine. And I need a place to stay. I know it’s a big ask, and honestly, I knew it was too much when we coerced you into that sham of a family dinner. We haven’t exactly been on the best of terms lately, and that’s hardly the recipe for a good living arrangement. But I’d like to try. For my own selfish reasons, of course, but also to try and mend our broken relationship. I’ll even pay rent, whatever you feel is fair, though I do ask that it be kept below market rate because holy fuck the rents are ridiculous here.”

I know it, though I’ve never had to pay rent.

“And you want to move here for college?” I ask.

“Partly,” she says. “But also to start planning our wedding.”

I fucking hate those words, but I do everything in my power to keep my face neutral.

“Our whole relationship has been somewhat long distance,” she continues. “Brayden’s parents are old fashioned and super traditional, so I can’t move in there, and I won’t ask him to leave the farm for me. At least not yet.”

“What do you mean not yet? You want him to leave?” The words are out of my mouth before I can pull them back in. I shouldn’t care this much, not for someone who’s supposed to be a stranger. But if she notices, she doesn’t show it.

“Well, yeah. To get my career going, I thought we could try out New York. I considered Los Angeles too, just so we could be near our families. But really, New York is where I need to be if I want to make a name for myself.

She wants him to leave the farm? Alarm bells are ringing inside my head. It’s none of my business, of course, but I also know that Brayden is passionate about caring for his family farm. I could tell when he talked about it the night I met him, and even on our ride home. Hell, he won’t even hire someone to work there unless they get along with the family.

“We’re planning to spend a lifetime together,” Jordy continues, “but we hardly spend any time together now. So I thought I could finish my graduate year here in Sunset Bay, and maybe Brayden and I could finally set a date for our wedding and start making plans for our home together.”

Oh, my heart. I can’t believe how much it aches. Just hearing Jordy talk about all this is like a gut punch.

How will it be if she lives with me? How will I manage it when he comes to visit her, when I see him kiss her, when they disappear behind closed doors?

I have to say no. I have every right to say no. Jordy and I are not reconciled as kin. In fact, it’s way too soon for a request like this.

But then there’s the loneliness of the house. The walls that are caving in on me. The overwhelming clutter and the amount of cleaning this house requires. The fact that I haven’t let anyone in since Maren moved out—and who best to help me but family?

Can I rely on her like others can rely on their family members? Because the track record is not looking good.

“I’ll help you with the house,” she says then, as if she’s reading my mind. I look at her sharply, but she continues. “I saw it, Nina. You need help, and I can give it. I do this all the time. I recently helped this elderly woman who had decades of stuff in her home, much like you do with Nanna Dot’s. While I live with you, I could help you get rid of the things you don’t need anymore, and free up some space in that house.”

There’s a tug-of-war happening inside me. On one hand, I don’t want her near any of Nanna’s things, and I definitely don’t want to get rid of anything. But on the other hand, I’m being edged out by Nanna’s belongings. If I don’t do something about it, I’ll have no room to live.

And I want a relationship with Jordy. I miss her. There was a time when I could trust her with just about anything. Jordy was my confidante, and since her, I’ve never had anyone come close.

I take a deep breath, then look in her hopeful brown eyes. “I really should say no,” I begin, and I hate the way her eyes light up, and how my own heart feels hopeful, “but okay.”

Chapter Ten

Nina

I heard the whine of applied brakes outside my house, and I looked through the window to see the moving van slowing to a stop. I wasn’t sure how to feel. Excited? More like nervous.