Out of Focus (Love in LA #3)

“You know what, yeah. I was. And I’m not even sorry about it because you fuckers had to go and fall in love with women I was already friends with. Not my fault one of them is your little sister.” I shrug, watching as both men rear back in surprise.

“Dude. You okay?” Adam asks. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I don’t actually give a shit that they fell in love with my friends. I love that we’ve built this little family. It just also feels like I don’t belong here on my own anymore. Even with their wives in another room, they’re not alone. They belong to a whole new family now.

Choosing not to dwell on my shit, I shake off the sadness that could surely bring me to tears right here and move on. “I’m fine. Owen, can you please answer my question?” The question I didn’t mean to ask. The question that I can’t stop thinking about now that I’ve kissed Charlie. Now that I’ve tasted her.

“All right. Well, I guess I knew when we started talking more. When she’d ask me to tell her something good. It was just this feeling, like I don’t know, man, like I just felt better about everything, even while we were deployed. I don’t know how to explain it.” Owen and I both look at Adam, knowing he’s got the answer sitting on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s like some part of you that was always missing is there now. When I’m around her, I’m complete. The air is easier to breathe. The colors are brighter. Everything is better. Loving her isn’t something I do; it’s just part of who I am. It’s automatic. Subconscious. Like breathing or blinking or closing your eyes when you sneeze. It just is.” I watch as my best friend smiles, no doubt thinking about his wife.

Loving her isn’t something I do; it’s just part of who I am.

Owen nods, pointing at Adam. “Yeah. What he said.”

I stare at Adam, wide-eyed. “Jesus, man. You just like know all that?”

His smug smile stays firmly in place. “Yeah. And if Charlie makes you feel any of those things, even just one of them, then this is worth exploring. Don’t sell your feelings short.”

Owen continues to nod, and I join him before realizing what’s just been said. “Wait. What? Who said anything about Charlie?”

My two best friends look at each other and then burst into laughter.

Assholes.

I fucking love these guys.

37/

stop talking about my brother’s dick!

charlie

Maeve pulls me into the living room, where Lainey is quietly breastfeeding her daughter. They both look tired, but different kinds of tired. Lainey looks happy, content, even as she yawns. Maeve looks a little crazed.

“You brought donuts? Oh, thank God. Owen keeps trying to feed me real food when all I want is donuts and french fries.” She rolls her eyes, taking the box from my hands and setting it on the coffee table. She doesn’t even take a moment to smell them as she normally would, just bites into one without wasting time.

“How rude of your husband to look out for the well-being of you and your unborn child,” I say, pressing a hand to my chest, and Elaina giggles. “Was that the emergency, Mae? You needed donuts instead of fruits and vegetables?”

“No,” she answers around a mouthful, then swallows. “Well, yes. I don’t know. It’s like everything he does is driving me bananas. I love Owen, obviously, but I kind of want to smother him with a pillow when he’s sleeping. Because I’m not sleeping. And how dare he be able to simply lie down, close his eyes, and rest without having to toss and turn or get up to pee three hundred times a night. And don’t get me started on the heartburn.” She takes another bite of her donut as I stare at her with wide eyes.

I reach for the box of donuts. “You shouldn’t be eating these?—”

“Don’t you dare!” She slaps my hand away. Obviously, pregnancy hasn’t messed with her reflexes because that was unnaturally agile. I sit back, lifting my hands in surrender.

“Where’s Jules?” I look around as if the tiny almost-toddler could be hiding somewhere.

“She’s just out for a walk with Eva. My mother-in-law is a sweet angel sent from heaven. She’s somehow juggling helping Bon and making time to be with Julia.” Maeve sniffles, shoving another piece of donut into her mouth. She mumbles something that sounds like “she’s amazing” and then starts sobbing.

Elaina looks on with sympathetic eyes, while I have no idea what to do. I settle for hugging my sister, who leans into me and continues to cry for a few minutes. Once she quiets down, I nudge her to lay her head on my lap, and I start to play with her hair like we used to do when we were kids. “Do you want to watch some episodes of The Office until they get back?” Even if I’d rather watch Friends, I know this is Maeve’s favorite show.

She nods and pulls her legs up as far as her belly will let her. Within two minutes, she’s fast asleep.

“She’s so tired. This last stage of pregnancy is so hard.” It’s no surprise that Elaina sympathizes.

“You would know. Yours was tough the entire time. And yet here you are, looking like you’ve never been happier.” I continue running my fingers through Maeve’s soft, straight hair, so unlike my own, yet nearly as familiar to me.

“Yeah. You’re right about that.” She smiles at Agnes, now sleeping next to her, then looks back at me. “How are you doing, Char? I haven’t forgotten that we need to talk about the little bomb you dropped on us, by the way. But first, tell me how you’re doing.” Of course she didn’t forget I told her I’m the author of the romance series she and her husband are turning into movies. I’ve managed to have my agent attend every meeting on my behalf, and it seemed like everyone understood my need to remain anonymous since a lot of authors have pen names.

“I’m… um… things are good. Really good.” Her eyebrows shoot up, and her smile widens. “I really like Santa Monica, and I’ve been writing a bit more lately. I feel like I’m finding my stride here, and… I’m happy.”