Out of Focus (Love in LA #3)

charlie

ROBERT:

Lottie, why aren’t you picking up my calls? I miss you. I haven’t even been going on any dates. I meant what I said. I’m ready now.

Robert’s text comes through while Maeve is getting Julia from her afternoon nap, and it makes my stomach turn. He called yesterday, and I completely forgot about it. And though I sometimes forget to respond to people, I don’t often forget about Robert because he’s been such a constant in my life.

It’s shocking how little I think about him these days. Is it an out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing? Is it more than that?

He misses me. He wants me there. He’s ready to commit. I’ve wanted those things from him for years, so why doesn’t this make me want to get on a plane to London right away like last time?

Maeve doesn’t understand why I’ve waited for him for so long, but Robert and I have known each other for years. I know if I married him, I would be taken care of. Safe. I’d know exactly what to expect. It may not be the most romantic way to meet your life partner, but we’re similar in so many ways. We work the same hours. We have the same friends. For someone who thrives on routine, it’s sort of perfect. It makes sense. It’s what my mum wanted for me—to have a normal life doing normal things. This is my chance to have that, and I don’t want to mess it up, but there’s a part of me that’s resistant to the idea. As if I’m settling for less than I deserve.

It’s probably just because I went on a date last night. Yes, that must be what’s making me think there might be something else available to me than this plan I forged years ago with Robert.

My thoughts are interrupted by a happy giggle.

“Ah-tee, Ah-tee!” Julia’s chubby hands reach for me as Maeve walks into the kitchen with her daughter perched on her belly. I happily take my niece, immediately pulling her in for a hug as she grabs at my hair. She’s always fascinated by it. I’m not sure if it’s the color or the texture, but she loves it.

“Yes, poppet, that’s your Auntie Charlie!” Maeve looks on, absentmindedly rubbing at her ever-growing belly.

“Are you hungry, Julia?” Her brown eyes widen as she looks at me, bringing her hand to her mouth, signing for food. I giggle at her and lift her to place her in her highchair. Maeve is already grabbing fruit from the fridge as I get her bib on.

“Nack? Nack Mama? Nack Ah-tee?” She slaps her little hands on the tray in front of her, little legs kicking beneath it.

“Yes, Jules. You can have a snack.” Maeve’s patient tone is soothing. She was made to be a mother, and yet she used to question whether she would be capable of this. As she places down the tray with an array of foods for the child who’s not biologically hers but hers in every way that matters, my heart expands with pride. Julia shimmies in her seat as she starts to eat what’s in front of her slowly.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I check it immediately. I keep thinking Rafael is going to text that he’s on his way back, and I don’t want to make him wait.

“Oh.” I smile down at the screen, seeing Zach’s name lighting up the screen. We exchanged numbers last night, but I didn’t expect to hear from him for a few days.

“What’s that smile all about there, Char?” Maeve takes a bite of Julia’s cracker and gags. “Oh. Gross. That’s not… nope… yuck.” The sweet baby between us repeats the word yuck over and over, giggling as she does. “Now, hand me the phone. Who’s got you smiling like that?”

I pass her the phone, knowing that it’s probably best that she be the one to see it first anyway. At least if he’s texting to say he doesn’t want to see me again, I’ll see it on her face immediately.

Maeve taps the screen, and her eyes go as wide as saucers. “Blimey, that’s a di-iiiiiifferent message than what I was expecting.” She looks at Julia, who is unfazed and happy to be eating. “Char, you went out with this guy?”

“Last night, yeah. Why? What’s he saying?” I try to look at the screen, but she hides it away. Maeve is smiling, so I know it can’t be bad.

“And what exactly happened last night?” She looks at the screen again and snickers. What the bloody hell is in that message?

“We had dinner. Went for a walk. He took me home, kissed me, and we said goodbye. Why? Stop being weird and just tell me!” I reach for the phone again.

“It looks like he thought you wanted more than just a kiss, babe.” She finally hands me the phone, a goofy grin still plastered on her face.

I nearly throw the phone across the room when I get a look at the screen. “Gah! That’s a wank-uh-I don’t know how to make this into a word that sounds like something other than wanker, and now I understand why you said different the way you did, and now I’ve just said that word in front of your daughter. I’m so sorry.” Maeve breaks into a fit of giggles, and Julia joins her, even if she doesn’t understand why. I look at the picture again. “Crikey, that’s… is that… Why is it so angry-looking?” I can’t see Zach’s face, but I’m assuming this is his dick he’s holding, or this message just got even weirder.

My sister continues, laughing until she nearly topples off her chair, tears springing in her eyes. I finally take a moment to read the text sent at the same time as the photo.

Zach:

Hey sweetheart. This is what you missed out on last night, but there’s always next time, right?

Oof. This is not good. Zach had potential, but sadly he’s just shit the bed.

“So, are you going to see what he can do with that?” I’m met with sparkling blue eyes and wiggly eyebrows.

“I don’t think so. I would have gone on another date, but now? I know this is all he’ll be thinking about, and I won’t even be able to look at him.” I close out of the text thread, checking that Rafael hasn’t also sent anything.