Out of Focus (Love in LA #3)

“Mushroom night.” He doesn’t like it when I refer to that event as anything having to do with the hospital or me poisoning him, so I just call it that.

He nods, as if my answer somehow clarifies something. I do remember that I neatly printed everything, not using my usual swoopy handwriting. I wanted him to be able to read it easily.

“Will you read this one to me?” This is not an unusual request for him. I read aloud to him often. Scenes I’m working on, a book we’re reading together, little sticky notes I leave to myself on my laptop. And it’s not because he can’t read most of it himself; he just likes it when I read to him. And I like doing it. He hands me a book opened on the cover page, and I set the bag down on the floor.

I begin reading slowly.

Raf,

I feel I should confess that the villain in this book was based on what I knew about you at the time, which wasn’t very much. I’m sorry,

-Chuck

I wince, closing the book and setting it on my lap. Before I can say anything else, he hands me another.

Rafael,

In my mind, the hero of this book laughs just like you. Deeply, sincerely, with his whole body.

-Carrot cake

As I finish, he takes the book I’ve just read from and hands me another.

Raf,

Do you remember the reference I made to Friends in this story? I thought of you when I wrote it.

-Ginger Spice

My chest feels tight as I remember sitting here, with Pumpkin watching me, reading these out loud to her as I wrote, wondering if he would ever find them.

Machado,

When I wrote the first kiss in this story, I thought it was unrealistic because there was no way anyone could ever actually experience something so wonderful. You proved me wrong. Thank you for that.

-Red

“You were kind of obsessed with me, huh?” His tone is sweet when he breaks the silence, but still, I roll my eyes at his comment. The look he sends me is both a warning and a promise, and I have to shift on the sofa as my insides warm. “It’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and then pushes my curls off my shoulder.

“I suppose you made a small impression on me.” I shrug, feigning indifference, simply to push his buttons.

“I’m about to make a very big impression on you now if you don’t quit that sass.” He leans into me, kissing my neck, and my breath hitches on contact. It’s not new. In fact, I feel his lips on me every day now, and still, I get goosebumps every time.

“We can’t,” I whine. “We need to clean this up and get all of that food ready.” I cradle his smooth cheeks in my hands and kiss him softly, pulling back quickly so as not to be tempted for more. I wish I’d come home sooner.

Home.

It’s where I am now. It’s where he is always.

And it’s where our families are about to be in thirty minutes to celebrate me officially moving in.

rafael

I had been putting away the copy of the book Charlie got for my birthday when something nagged at me to open one of the other books up. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Every single one had something sweet or funny written inside. Every single one was signed by a nickname I’d given her. I’m going to have to request a personalized message to be written in all of her future books.

With a raging hard-on, I eventually put all of Charlie’s books back on our bookshelf and then helped her get food and drinks set out. After we went to London to get her things packed up a few weeks ago, I suggested she have her things brought here because there was no room in the small apartment she was subletting. Two weeks after that, she realized she was keeping more of her everyday things here also, and without preamble, asked if I thought I could handle her staying over being a full-time thing.

I cried because I’d been wanting her here every day since she walked into me with her eyes closed. Then, I finally fucked her on the couch. Our couch. Figures she would be the first and only.