Mind Games

“How do you know the difference?”

“It’s hard to tell at that age, so like I said, your granddaddy and me, we got lucky because it was true and real and deep, that love.”

“You still love him.”

“I do, and always will. When it’s the kind of love that holds through the years, the troubles, and the joys? It’s more than the heat and flutters inside you. I’d say it’s like something roots in you, roots deep. It grows, and it blooms. It can’t bloom without those roots.”

“I want him to be handsome.”

“Of course you do.”

“And kind, like Dad.” Thea’s eyes started to droop.

“Kind beats even handsome. What else?”

“I hope he’s smart.” Those heavy eyes closed. “Likes books and music and animals. And he has to live here because I don’t want to move away.”

As she drifted into sleep, Lucy stayed awhile longer, stroking Thea’s hair.

I want all that for you, too, she thought. In its time, I want all that and more for you.

* * *

Love hadn’t taken root in her yet, but her grandmother’s words had. She could cry when she needed to, and she would. But she would do what Lucy said, and live a good life to honor those who made her.

To start that good life, she got up even before her grandmother. She dressed and, with the dogs on her heels, went downstairs, let them out.

She’d watched her grandmother make coffee often enough she knew how it worked, so she made coffee. It would be ready for her grammie when she came down.

It was more dark than light when she went down, but she could see well enough to lead Aster into the barn. She scooped out grain, added the hay, then got down to the process of milking.

It felt good, she thought. Good to just get up and do it.

She thought how her mom had known how to milk a cow, but didn’t really like to. How her father had learned how, and did.

As she walked back with the pail just as the sun lifted over the eastern hills, Lucy stepped out on the back porch.

“Girl, you got an early start.”

“I wanted to.”

“You made the coffee.”

“I think I did it right. Can I have some coffee milk?”

“You surely can. Let me take that pail, and we’ll go have our coffee.”

“I’m going to feed the chickens first, and get the eggs. Rem really likes milking Molly, so he can do that. I want to live a good life, Grammie, and honor them. I’m trying to start today.”

“Oh, my sweet child.” Lucy pressed the back of her hand to her lips. “You’re going to make me cry now. Pride tears. I’ll take the pail. You go feed the ladies, and we’ll have coffee when you’re done.”

When she was done, they sat with their coffee at the kitchen table.

“Waylon and Caleb are going to start driving down with the things you and Rem wanted. They’ll be here tonight if they can, or tomorrow. The lawyer— Do you want to hear about all that?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re old enough to get up on your own to make my coffee and tend the animals, you’re old enough to know what’s going on around you. The lawyer said it was fine to take what they’re bringing. It’s going to take longer to settle everything. The estate it’s called, and your mom and dad named me the executor of their estate. That means I work with the lawyers to get it all settled up.”