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Almost.
But for the most part, I was kinda content to get to know my little brother.
It didn’t hurt the way it had before. He wasn’t my replacement—despite what my parents had intended. He was brilliant and sunny, and his snarky tongue reminded me a lot of Blair. Our whole relationship reminded me of my relationship with Blair actually.
It’s strange.
Because this felt…easy.
Maybe…it could’ve been this easy the whole time? And I’d made things harder for myself than they needed to be.
“So. How do you feel about sporks?” Collin asked as we pulled onto the ramp that led back into Elmwood.
“Sporks?” I snorted, brow furrowing. “The…utensil?”
“Obviously.”
“I guess…they’re useful?”
“And an abomination,” Collin added with a wicked grin, putting his feet up on my dash and cackling to himself. “Both.”
“Right.” I guess I’d never cared enough about sporks to have an opinion on them.
“Don’t you find it weird that Blair and Richard are dating?” he asked me, jumping topics like a hyperactive frog. “I mean it’s not weird for me, because Blair is Blair—and I never knew him. But you grew up with him.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “It’s pretty fucking weird.”
“Cool though, yeah?”
“Yeah.” It was cool. Maybe it had taken a little while for me to get used to the idea of my blood brother dating my adoptive brother, but…they were so sickeningly cute together it hadn’t taken much effort after all. “They’re…”
“Gross?”
“Definitely gross,” I laughed, fingers tapping at the steering wheel as pop music blasted through the car and the scent of French fries filled the air.
“They stare at each other like allll the time. Blair will go take a piss, and he’ll walk back in the room, and Richard gives him these eyes, like he’s been gone for a zillion years and not five fucking minutes.”
“They really like each other,” I snorted. “You know they invited me to the movies?”
“Oh god.”
“I was like, fuck no. I don’t want to watch you make out.”
“Good call.” Collin grinned at me. “I walked in on them once. And can I just say? Ew. Like. I wanted to bleach my eyeballs. Their tongues were touching. Touching!”
“Disgusting,” I agreed, and Collin beamed. Kinda felt like I’d won an award.
He ranted more about Blair and Richard for a bit. And then our mom—and then his classes at school, in particular the ones he was dreading. And then he talked about fish sticks, High-Chew gummies, and why red was the superior choice for Converse sneakers—a fact I totally agreed with.
I reached for my drink and took a long sip.
“So,” Collin said, tone still light. “You ever sucked a dick?”
I choked, spluttering as I shoved the cup back in the cupholder. My other hand held tight to the steering wheel so I wouldn’t swerve and get us in a wreck. “W-What?”
“I’m just wondering, you know. For science.” Collin bobbed his head. “I’ve thought about it. Kinda a lot. And it seems fun? But it also seems like it’d be annoying, you know? A whole-ass mouthful.” He frowned. “Whole dick mouthful?” He shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
I kinda wanted to cut him off, but then again…I’d been fifteen once too. And I wasn’t sure what about me screamed “I’m a sex-pert” but I figured, compared to Blair, I kinda was. Collin wasn’t the first to ask for my advice.