Comp's Chance

“Don’t, Sunshine. Don’t blame yourself. This was not your fault. None of it was. Plus, this was definitely not the worst thing I’ve been through. It was more of a vacation. Do you know how boring my life gets sitting behind a computer screen all day? I needed some excitement,” he says, trying to joke. It breaks a little of the tension and makes me chuckle, only to follow that up with another sob.

“It was my fault. They hurt you because of me,” I say, grabbing onto the top part of his chest to avoid the bullet wound I know is on his side. He hisses anyway, and again, I pull back.

“What happened? I thought you got shot on the side?” I ask him, confused.

“I did,” he tells me simply, but he isn’t meeting my gaze. He looks everywhere but at me.

“Then what’s wrong with your chest?” I ask him, narrowing my eyes.

“Just some bruises,” he says simply, trying to pull me back into his arms. I call bullshit. If it was just bruising, he would be able to look at me. He would still be comforting me.

“Something happened you’re not telling me. Your hurt. More. Take off your shirt,” I say, tugging at the hem of his shirt, but he grabs my hands.

“Alright, but you’ve got to take off your pants. Tit for tat,” he says, wagging his eyebrows. He’s trying to distract me, make a joke, or make me feel uncomfortable. Since he won’t give me what I want, I decide to call his bluff.

I stand from the bed, ignoring his hands as he grabs for me. I place my hands on the waistband of my sleep shorts and remove them. Still in my panties, I look up at him with a challenging look and raise an eyebrow.

“Mother fucker,” he says, wiping the edge of his mouth.

“Your turn. Take off your shirt,” I tell him, leaning back on the bed beside him, so I can help.

“Sunshine, please don’t push this. No good can come from this.” He pleads with me to let this go, but I can’t. I have to know. There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I honestly have no clue what I’m going to find, but I need to know what happened.

“I need to know, Nix. Please,” I beg him. I can tell he wants to refuse. He wants to fight me on this, but I refuse to back down. I know he sees the determination on my face. There is no changing my mind. He slides his hand up to my cheek and pulls my face close to his.

“I can’t let you live with that baby,” he says, and that just makes my resolve even harder.

“Show me now, Nix, or I swear I’ll leave and never come back. I don’t like secrets. I don’t like being blindsided. I need to know everything to protect myself and my daughter. I need to know,” I tell him.

I may or may not be bluffing about the not coming back part. I’m not sure I could live my life separate from this man if I tried. This past week was hell, complete torture… but I know someday I will have to leave. Someday, I’ll have to leave him behind.

“I’ll show you if you promise me one thing,” he says, and his tone is deadly serious. I nod my head.

“Your ex, baby… h-he carved a message into my chest. It was meant for you to find. It was supposed to be on my dead body, but the men got to me first. What it says sunshine…” He stops, shaking his head, and hesitates for a moment before he continues. “It’s bullshit. I will never let him near you or Paisley. I need you to believe me. I need you to promise me, promise you won’t let it get to you. Know that I am here and will protect you and your baby girl with my life,” he says, his tone harder than I have ever heard.

I want to cry again. I want to completely lose it. I want to kick, punch, hit, kill something. Jason took it too far. He carved Nix’s skin. Doesn’t he realize this man has been through enough? I want to tell him to forget it. I want to say I don’t need to know, that I don’t want to know, but it would be a lie.

I have to know everything because when the time comes, I have to ensure that Jason gets the payback he deserves for every single one of his crimes. The message carved into Nix’s skin is a message for me, and I need to know what it is. If Nix was strong enough to take the pain, surely, I’m strong enough to handle the words.

“I promise,” I whisper, but I think we both know that’s a lie.

I hear Nix take a deep breath before letting it out. He grips the hem of his black t-shirt before slowly lifting it to the top ofhis ribs before he gives me one last look. I know he’s fighting with himself. If he had his way, I would never know the message carved into him, but this happened because of me and my past. I need to know. He gives me one more hard look before raising the shirt over his pecs and to his chin.

I gasp before a sob rolls through me. How could that monster do this? The words carved on Nix’s chest in a broken, jagged scrawl will haunt me for the rest of my life:

YOU 2 R MINE.

Seventeen

COMP

Isee the devastation on Sunny’s face as she takes in the message on my chest. This, this right here, is why I never wanted her to see it. If it was up to me, I would have kept my shirt on until I could get it covered. I already plan on getting with Cutter to figure out how to cover it when it’s all healed up. I refuse to let Sunny be reminded of this shit every day. I reach up for her as her face crumples, and I pull her to me.

“No, you’re hurt,” she tells me, trying to pull back, but I’m not letting her go. No way in hell I’m going to let her believe for even a second this was her fault.

“Baby, listen to me. Look at me,” I tell her, but she shakes her head as the tears pour. “Sunshine,” I say in a warning, my voice deep and commanding. Her head snaps up, and I smile. Hmm… well, nice to know she naturally understands my tone.

“I need you to listen and listen good. I want you to hear every single fucking word I’m about to say,” I tell her, waiting for her acknowledgment. When she nods her head yes, I continue.