Comp's Chance

Paisley makes a soft snort before raising her head, her sleepy eyes taking in her surroundings. I try to hold in my chuckle at seeing her cute blonde curls sticking to her head on one side and sticking straight in the air on the other. She looks at me and smiles with half-closed eyes. I put my finger to my mouth to make sure she stays quiet. I walk to the side of the bed she’s lying on and quietly lift her into my arms. She wraps herself around me like a monkey, and I smile. This girl and her mama have quickly stolen my heart, even if I’m not ready to admit it.

“I’m hungry,” Paisley says softly, laying her head on my shoulder.

“Well, we can’t have that, my little wildflower. Let’s go get you something to eat,” I say, leaving my room and heading toward the kitchen. We pass the common area, and I see Rome and Rae sitting at one of the tables, working on schoolwork.

Halle and Loki decided to keep them homeschooled this year. After everything that happened to them and throwing them into our lifestyle, they didn’t want to overwhelm either of the kids. They have a tutor that comes three times a week, and these hellions do the rest online. Halle signed them up for public school come the new year, and they can’t wait. I think they get a little bored around here, wanting to be around other kids. I wonder if Sunny would like the schools in this area?

“Uncle Comp! Paisley!” Rae says, bouncing out of her chair and running up to us.

“Hey, little lady, how much more work do you two have left?” I ask them, but Rome’s the one who answers.

“We finished a little while ago, but Mama let us color until Paisley could play,” he says, staring at Paisley with worried eyes. She’s still got her head on my shoulder and is trying to wake up, but she keeps drifting.

“Well, I was going to fix Paisley a snack before dinner. Do you guys want something, too?” I ask them, and they both nod excitedly.

“Goldfish and a banana?” I ask, knowing that goldfish are Rome’s favorite and bananas are Rae’s. They both nod their heads, and I look down at Paisley.

“Can I have applesauce instead of a banana?” she asks softly, and I smile.

“Of course you can, wildflower,” I say, turning and heading to the kitchen.

“Can I have applesauce instead of a banana, too, Uncle Comp?” Rome asks, and I smile back at him.

“Of course you can, little man.”

These kids have my heart, all three of them. Looking back over my life for the past ten years, I realize just how little I’ve had. Yes, I had my brothers and club; they’ve been nothing short of amazing. They are truly one of the few reasons I’mstill alive today. The other reason is my parents. It would break my mother’s heart if something happened to me. Then my dad would bring me back from the beyond to kick my ass for hurting my mother’s feelings. To say he’s obsessed with my mother would be an understatement. But for so long, I’ve survived only for others, to keep others happy, to not destroy them. Now, I can feel life coming back to me. Now, I’m going to live this life for myself.

Nine

SUNNY

Waking, I feel more refreshed than I have in my entire life. I don’t know what it is; I just know that I feel safe, cared for, and, most importantly, rested for the first time in as long as I can remember. I haven’t felt rested since the minute Paisley was born.

I open my eyes and finally remember where I am. Nix’s bed. It’s so comfy, so big, and it smells like him. I take a deep breath before rolling over and seeing the time on the clock. I gasp, scrambling out of bed. I look around the room, and Comp is sitting at his computer station. I call it a station, but it’s basically an entire room set up with monitors, computers, gadgets, and what I can only describe as spy equipment. In my defense, I only use my Mac to do my editing work. That is about as far as my computer knowledge and skills extend.

I stare at him for another minute, realizing he has headphones over his ears. This is the first time I’ve gotten an uninterrupted view of his face. However, I can only see half of it since he’s looking at his computer and not me, but the side I can see is the scarred one. A nasty scar runs from right under his hairline on the right side down his face and neck until it disappears under his shirt. I trace his face with my eyes, noticingthe scars cause his lip to turn down slightly. I can only describe it as the Phantom from the Phantom of the Opera, but with long hair that didn’t get the burns… He’s still beautiful to me.

I know what’s in his heart; I know what kind of man he is. The man who takes one look at a single mom in need and drops everything, the type that sees a woman breaking down and holds her. Hopefully, I’m the only one he’s doing that too, but… dammit, I can’t think like that. I can’t let my mind go there. If I do, the hope will eat me up until I decide to be brave enough to do something about it. Then, I will have to deal with the rejection when he realizes just how much baggage I carry.

I shake my head, knowing I need some fresh air or at least a room not surrounded by a man I’m crushing on, hard. But before I can even sit fully up, Nix whips his head around. He quickly removes his headphones and combs his hair back to hide his face.

“You shouldn’t hide your face. You’re very handsome, and the scars don’t take away from that,” I tell him, unable to keep the words in. When he realizes I saw him, the panicked look on his face nearly breaks me. There is no way I can let this man think he’s less than or not good enough just because of some scars.

“People don’t want to see that shit. Too many times getting called fucking gross or hideous, make sure I stay hidden,” he says, shrugging, but he turns his back to me, and I realize he doesn’t want to talk about this with me. I understand, even if I hate it. I stand, ready to leave the room, but look back at him.

“Just because a few assholes don’t have a soul doesn’t mean the whole world is like that… and even if it did and the world was against you, the people here love you. Don’t push people away just because the scars are more than skin deep,” I tell him before turning and walking out of the room.

I still can’t believe I slept all day. I’m freaking out about Paisley. Was she worried when she woke up without me? Could she find me in Nix’s room? Did she go back to bed hungry? I have so many questions, but when I make it back to our room, what I see has me coming up short before a smile crosses my face.

A Disney movie plays on the TV, and all three kids are piled in the bed. Paisley is in the middle, with Rome on one side and Rae on the other. All three have their hands locked together, and it makes me tear up. My baby girl has finally found the place she belongs. Don’t get me wrong, she had a friend back in our hometown, but not like this. Unfortunately, the mistakes of my past were taken out on her. The whole town shunned me and, by extension, her. I wipe the tears from my eyes when I hear someone behind me.

“They’ve been inseparable since Paisley woke up from her nap. We got them fed, and they wanted to watch a movie together. I wanted you to get enough sleep, so I told Halle and Loki I would watch them. I hope that was okay,” Nix says from behind me. I shiver at how close he is but nod my head.

“That’s perfectly fine. Thank you so much for taking care of her. I didn’t mean to sleep so long,” I say, wondering where I’m supposed to stay since I now have a bed full of kids. Nix must see my concern because he grabs my hand before pulling me back down the hallway.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, but I’m not. I may have just woken up, but I still feel so exhausted.

“No, I just really want to lie back down,” I tell him, rubbing my eyes.