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She clasps her hands together, delight flickering in her eyes. That look right there becomes my ultimate goal.
I drive for a while—hoping she will enjoy her surprise—until I park the car in the middle of a field. On our right is an old farmhouse. To our left is the reason I brought her here.
She takes the dimly lit place in. It’s a maze of books, and once you complete it, you can choose a book.
Fairy lights illuminate the space. She turns to me, her mouth opening and closing in awe. She kisses me urgently, feeding me her passion before her eyes take everything in. I call it a huge win, and my previous worry vanishes.
The older couple lets us in after I pay for our tickets. Abigail’s so engrossed in the books that her entire face beams. I follow her, enraptured. It’s no wonder we lose our way a few times. It’s either because I can’t stop kissing her or she traces and reads the title of every book she sees.
When we find our way out of the labyrinth, she picks a book from the maze, pressing it to her chest. Her excitement is palpable, and fuck, I think I’m falling for her.
No, I know I’m in love with her. Hard. Irrevocable. Permanent.
She jumps into my arms. “This was perfect. The best date ever. I didn’t know this place existed.”
“There’s more.”
“Really?”
I nod, emotions clawing at my chest as I take her lips in a long kiss until we both gasp for air.
Next, we go to a small restaurant by the ocean. The hostess shows us to our table and after we order, she talks animatedly about everything and anything. For my first date, I think it’s going great, but it’s her, so even if we were in hell, I’d still have the best time.
“Celine would have loved it there.”
I sip from my Coke, and she stops talking.
“I hate when you do that. You’re at ease, then you let something slip and freeze me out again.”
“I have my reasons.”
“Fuck your reasons.”
“Would you tell me everything?”
“If you’d be mine… But I think you’d just have to ask and I’d tell you everything, even the stuff that might make you wanna leave me.”
Her eyebrows draw together. “There would be nothing on your part that would make me want to leave you.”
“In case you didn’t notice, I’m volatile. My mood swings. My focus on things I want…”
“What is it?”
“A secret for a secret.”
When she opens her mouth, everything in me calms down.
“I miss her… something is lacking in our group without her. And then I feel guilty because if she were here, Celine would have had to see us together…”
Abigail takes a sip of her water and continues. “But some things you don’t have power over. I think there’s a reason for life, and that contains an ingrained battle. Battle to live, survive, and become someone. Nothing comes easy for humans. There would be no reason for existence, otherwise.”
Of all the things I could divulge, I tell her, “My father killed himself. So I guess he lost the battle.”
Strangely, it feels liberating to say it to someone. The truth. The ghosts that had haunted him and ultimately passed on to me.
She finds my hand on the table. “I’m so sorry. Which is stupid. As if that word could heal the wound of losing a loved one.” She interlaces our fingers, giving a little squeeze. “Dane, he didn’t lose a battle. He did his best until it wasn’t enough anymore. And it’s not your fault. I hope you know that.”
“I guess his team made sure people thought it was a health issue—which it was—but his heart didn’t give up on him. Hiding the truth so the legend could live on.”