Page 147
“What are you doing?” I ask but lean into him like the hopeless-in-love idiot I am. His hands lock around my stomach, holding me in the cocoon of his embrace.
“See, I don’t bite.”
“Tell that to your dick. It’s trying to rip a hole through both our jeans.”
When a chuckle rocks his chest, I tilt my head to see his rich brown eyes sparkling with ease and happiness. His entire face radiates bliss.
“Let’s end this push and pull,” he says, placing a sweet kiss on my neck.
I want that more than anything in the world. I sweep my gaze over this dream-like scenery, from the lake to the forest, mowed grass and wild roses, and the mansion tucked away from prying eyes.
“I’m tipping. I’m not saying this to scare you because we both fucking know I’m never going to be normal, and it’s not your job to tread carefully when I have episodes…”
I look back at him and cup his face. “Since when?”
But he doesn’t have to answer since he came back because of me.
“Abigail, no. Stop this shit.”
“We both know I’m the cause and you’re the idiot who still wants this. You never could end us. This is why I did what I had to do then. This is why I will always make the best decision.”
“And that would be what? Stop lying to yourself. This is all I fucking want and ask of you. Stop this shit and let yourself feel.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why the fuck not Abigail?”
“I’m sorry.”
Abigail gets in the passenger seat while I buckle my little sister into her car seat. Jasmine babbles the entire time, either trying to diffuse the tension or completely unaware while I steal glances at Abigail. When I reach the destination, Abigail’s jaw drops. We have wonderful memories at this amusement park.
“Really?” She snaps at me.
“What?” I snap right back.
She pushes at the door and unbuckles Jasmine. They walk hand in hand in front of me.
People openly stare or steal glances at us. I see some elbowing each other, some smiling at them, saying how cute they look. My girls, fuck. I’m in so deep while Abigail feeds me her same bullshit. My patience is wearing thin.
We’re in direct competition at a shooting stand, winning one plush animal after the other, so I have to take several trips to the car. But both of them smile, and when we hop on the Ferris wheel, while Jasmine and she take in the view, I take in Abigail.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” Like you’re my world. I love you.
I can’t do this shit any longer. She could hurt me again and again, and I would still crawl back to her.
“When is the final race?” she asks.
“Want to get rid of me?”
“Can I?”
“Never.”
Whatever she was going to say is cut off when she clamps her mouth shut.
The moment we’re back on the ground, Jasmine runs in front of us to the food station.