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I smooth my white, A-line, knee-length dress in the mirror, getting ready for dinner with Grandmother. In the last two years, I’ve embraced my role of smiling at her face, smiling at their faces.
They wanted a doll.
I became the perfect doll.
Underneath my elegant clothes and proper demeanor, I wear deceit.
Anger and disgust simmer low in my belly, but I have to keep them contained. I constantly remind myself I might be powerless now, but it will end. I won’t let my emotions jeopardize my plan of escaping.
There is no freedom in a gilded cage, but I swore to myself I was going to get out. One day. And that keeps me going.
I walk down the stairs and find my friends in the living room of our college house. It’s a spacious room, painted in tones of pale gray. The white furniture includes a velvet couch in the middle, a wool hand-crafted rug, and a round table. On the opposite wall, there’s a fireplace. Hardwood floors and crystal chandeliers offer an elegant touch.
The large windows offer the best view of the campus. Acres of perfectly mowed land surround the old and prestigious building. A washed-out gray cement building that looks more like a castle rests in the middle.
The Family built Eagleton College a hundred fifty years ago. The Family is so powerful and rich, they’re untouchable. Every generation has its own leader, and that is the firstborn. Whoever is the matriarch or patriarch of the Family is the unofficial ruler of the region, and delegates the mayor, controls the police, and owns most resources like land and money.
Blake greets me with a jerk of his chin. He used to be so outgoing, but everything changed after his initiation. Kaden and I understand his silence on the subject.
Bailey tucks her phone into her handbag. Behind her sweet appearance, with her fairy-like complexion, is a skilled hacker and computer wizard.
Kaden has his hands in his slacks pockets, glancing outside the window with a forlorn look. I can relate to his yearning.
Time doesn’t heal. It numbs you. But strangely, it also makes you desperate. I know Kaden’s on a thin rope dangling over a hellish abyss.
We don’t live; we exist to be the perfect soldiers for the Family.
In our group, we would die for each other, but sadly we can’t live for each other. All four of us are lost.
Me in my perpetual what-if.
Kaden in his ongoing agony.
Blake in his never-ending fight with himself.
Bailey in her virtual reality.
But we have endured and come so far. We just have to keep going for a while longer.
My phone vibrates in my small purse. Plucking it out, I see a notification, but I quickly mute it.
This is my punishment, reading every notification on Dane. That’s my only bridge to him.
He’s doing fantastic. If he continues like this, he will win his third F1 Championship in a row. My love and obsession with him are all crammed into an aching, longing heart. I should stop looking him up, especially for my sanity.
He was mine for a while. Now he is where he belongs—on the podium, while I remain behind with debilitating nostalgia.
His angry stare has turned into one of determination.
When Kaden opens the front door, I say, “Just a while longer.”
He tips his chin in agreement.
It was two years ago, and three months after Grandmother sent me to the EDC in Maryland, an eating disorder recovery center, I told my friends everything. After that, Blake went out every night, coming home, reeking of alcohol and sweat. I blame myself for that.
Kaden has become more secretive regarding our escape plan.
Bailey spends every minute on her laptop, always on high alert, and I smile at her, proud. She’s our silent but deadly weapon.