The Rocker's Muse

Tristan let out a long breath. “It hurt that he doubted my character, but I can’t blame him. He didn’t know me. But I hate that he was afraid to come find me.”

“I’m sure you can understand why. In his eyes, someone like you could think he was out for money.”

“Yeah, I totally get it. It just sucks. I never would’ve turned him away. Just the opposite. He wouldn’t have been able to get rid of me.”

His words tugged at my heart. “I know.”

When the server set the plate of waffles with bacon and pickles in front of Tristan, the aroma brought on a wave of nostalgia. I couldn’t help but laugh at Tristan’s hesitation.

“Have I mentioned I hate pickles?” He grimaced. “And mustard? But I’m gonna eat the hell out of this for him.” As I nibbled my own breakfast, I watched Tristan cut his waffle into pieces, being sure to layer each bite with all of the accoutrements. When he finally took a bite, he grinned with his mouth full sarcastically. “Mmmm…” Then he downed a bunch of water.

“Are you gonna be okay?” I chuckled.

He nodded, and I watched in amusement as he worked his way through the giant waffle, bite by bite.

“It actually gets easier with time.” He rubbed his belly. “I guess I can kind of see why he liked it. It’s got a certain bite to it.”

I laughed. “There are other things he liked that are easier to stomach. I just started with this because it was his favorite. And, you know, it’s kind of funny watching you suffer.”

He grinned. “By all means, don’t hold back. I want to learn everything about him. And if I haven’t thanked you enough for doing this, let me thank you again. I appreciate you agreeing to be my tour guide.”

“It’s not a problem.” I licked syrup off the corner of my mouth. “I’m glad to be able to do it.”

“So…what did your boyfriend say when he saw you with me?” he asked a minute later. “He didn’t look too happy. I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

I wiped my mouth. “He was a little freaked out at first, but I haven’t told him what happened on the tour between us, so he doesn’t have a reason to be suspicious.”

“Ah…the old, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“There was no reason to tell him. I never thought you’d come to town. I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again.”

Tristan pushed his plate away. “We should talk about us, though, Emily.”

Us. My heart fluttered. “What about us, specifically?”

“I didn’t handle things well when I found out about Jacob. After I left my mother’s, I ran off to Europe when I should’ve gone to see you one more time. I owed you that. I don’t want you to think our time together meant nothing to me. I just didn’t know how to handle it, you know? Still don’t, really.”

“I’m the one who should be explaining myself, Tristan. I let things cross a physical line, knowing you were Jacob’s father. What kind of person does that make me?”

His mouth curved into an impish grin. “A horny, gap-toothed little minx.”

My eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“I’m kidding…sort of.” He chuckled as I sat there mortified. “Look, Emily…the truth is, I came on pretty strong. I was practically obsessed with you. Obviously, I had no freaking clue you were harboring my biggest secret. But I chased you pretty hard. You can’t take all the blame for what happened between us.”

“How can you forgive what I did so easily?”

“You didn’t do anything intentionally. You gave in to your feelings, but it wasn’t premeditated. You had your reasons for not telling me who you were during the tour. You didn’t expect me to pursue you. You didn’t expect us to have real chemistry. I can’t fault you for that. You got caught up. So did I.”

I shook my head, though I did appreciate his perspective. “I still think you’re going too easy on me.”

“For being human? I don’t regret anything that happened. If I remove the obvious conflict of interest, there isn’t a moment with you that I would want to take back. It was still one of the happiest times I can remember. And if that’s fucked up to admit now, so be it. It’s complicated. But so is life, Emily.” He sighed. “So is this fucking life.”

Tristan always had a way of making me see things in a different light. “Why do I always feel better after talking to you?”

“Likewise.” He smiled.

“Where do we go from here?” I asked.