The Rocker's Muse

“Me too. And I can’t wait to devour you.”

Allowing myself to get lost in him was wrong. I’d regret it tomorrow. As far as I was concerned, though, that was a problem for future me. Current me was too damn busy.

Until now, I hadn’t realized how different it would feel to be with a man, how much more my body could react just from kissing him, from the feel of his scruff against my face, from his deep groans. I’d only gotten a taste today, and already I couldn’t imagine ever being satisfied by anything less than this.

Jacob had been practically a kid when we were together. We were both over eighteen when we’d had sex, but very inexperienced. And the guy I’d slept with in college was completely forgettable. Tristan had me practically orgasming from kissing. I didn’t know my body was capable of feeling so sensitized. It couldn’t possibly get better than this.

With our lips still locked, Tristan slid one of his hands down to unbutton my jeans. Even the feel of his hand was enough to set me ablaze. He slid my pants down, and I worked to kick them off. Then I felt his warm palm cup me through my underwear. I jerked my hips, pressing my clit into his hand. He moved his palm in firm circles, never interrupting our kiss.

He slipped a finger into my panties, then another until three of his fingers were inside of me. “Oh God,” he mumbled as he moved his fingers in and out, fucking me with one hand while the other squeezed my breast through my shirt.

“I can’t believe how fucking wet you are.” Rubbing his fingers along my clit, he spread my wetness around. “That feel good?”

I could hardly speak. “Ye…yes.”

While I respected his decision not to rush into anything, I would’ve given anything to feel his cock moving in and out instead of his fingers. But Tristan had drawn a line. I was equally disappointed and grateful, since I was apparently not able to make responsible decisions today.

He fucked me with his fingers faster as he kissed me harder, never taking his lips off mine. My breathing quickened; I felt ready to lose it. But Tristan stopped kissing me suddenly. Cold air replaced the heat on my mouth as I yearned for the return of his lips.

He lowered his gaze to his hand, watching the way his fingers moved in and out of me.

“You have the most magnificent pussy. I wish you could see how beautiful it is.” He pressed the thumb of his opposite hand against my clit as he sank his fingers in as deep as they would go. Then he began moving them. “Listen to that, how wet you are.”

While I never wanted this to end, I felt myself coming undone.

As my breathing became more labored, he rasped, “Let go. Come all over my hand, baby. I want to watch you come.”

Those words pushed me over the edge. The muscles between my legs tightened around his fingers, his thumb pressing into my clit as a powerful orgasm ricocheted through my body. It was euphoric, and he was so right, because in those seconds, not a single thing mattered in the world—not Henry nor Jacob dying, not any of the guilt I knew would come. It was just me and Tristan—his touch and his taste, our mutual desire causing me to lose all sense of reality, all sense of right or wrong.

He stayed with me until my muscles pulsed the last few times.

“That was so fucking beautiful,” he whispered.

I could hear the wetness as he pulled his fingers out of me. My eyes followed as Tristan brought his fingers, covered in my arousal, to his mouth. He licked them clean as if it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. That made me tingle all over, nearly reviving my need to orgasm.

“I think I just found my new addiction.” He slid his tongue across his bottom lip. “Fuck drugs. I could get high off that.”

I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair. “You sure know how to make a woman lose her damn mind.”

“Feel good now?”

“I don’t remember the last time I felt this good, Tristan.”

“Good.” He lowered himself and enveloped my mouth with his, groaning over my lips. “Don’t let me do anything more than that to you. Because once I fucking start, I won’t be able to stop.”

“Not sure I’m a very good influence, considering I’m the one who reached out to kiss you and started all this.”

We lay across from each other in silence for a while.

“You surprised the hell out of me when you leaned in,” he finally said.

“I surprised the hell out of me. But I agree, this can’t be a thing. I just had…a moment. I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss you for a while. I wasn’t expecting the rest. But we can’t do any of it again.”

He groaned. “No way I can go through life without kissing you again. But I’ll find a way to control myself beyond that.”

I knew better. The more we were around each other, the more dangerous it would be. No way would I be able to resist doing more with him if he tried.

What have I done?