The Rocker's Muse

“I thought it was the ladies’ room. I—”

“Yeah, I got that. I don’t mean why you’re in the bathroom. I meant the building. No one’s allowed in this place.”

“I was let in by…Dan Elias for a job interview.”

“Doug Elias, you mean?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Interview for what?” The man turned to the sink and proceeded to wash his hands as I explained.

“To assist on Delirious Jones’s upcoming tour. But I don’t think that’s going to be happening. Pretty sure I flubbed the interview, because I was unprepared.” As in, I had no idea I was applying for a job today.

And why am I still standing here talking to this guy?

“I see.”

“Do you work here?” I asked.

He stared at me like I had ten heads. “Yeah. I work with the band.”

“Can you tell me what it’s like working for them? Would I be getting myself into some deep shit by taking this position? I don’t think I’m gonna get it, but in the event they call me back, I’d like to know if I’m getting in over my head.”

“What do you consider deep shit?”

“I’ve just never been part of a scene like this.”

He chuckled. “You mean like…sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

“Right.”

“Well…” He crossed his arms. “There are a few things I should warn you about.”

“Okay.”

“You should know, there are orgies almost every night.”

My eyes widened. “There are?”

He nodded. “Then there’s the BDSM bus.”

“BDSM…bus?”

“Yup. Whatever you do, make sure they don’t assign you to that. Unless you like your nipples clamped and your ass whipped on the regular.”

I chewed my lip. “Um…”

“And do you do magic mushrooms?” He pointed at me. “If so, you’ll fit right in.” The smirk on his face finally gave him away.

“You’re bullshitting me?”

“I am.” He chuckled. “There are no orgies, and as much as a BDSM bus sounds kind of fun, it doesn’t exist.”

“What about the drugs?”

“There are always some drugs around. But the guys in the band don’t do them. Just a little weed here and there. Why are you so concerned? No one would force you to do anything you didn’t want to. If you see something you don’t like, just look the other way. In any case, if you’re working the tour, trust me, you’ll be too busy to notice.”

“I guess that’s a good thing.” I swallowed.