The Rocker's Muse

“You attract too much attention.”

“Everyone’s but yours. You didn’t even know who I was when you met me. Which I loved, by the way.”

“That’s because you looked like a grizzly bear with that beard.”

I cackled. “See? This is why I miss you, Emily. You make me laugh.”

“I’m surprised you feel that way. You haven’t said a word to me in a week.”

“That’s also a reason I’m here. I wanted to apologize. I should’ve at least come to say hello. Especially after we hung out in Detroit. That was fun.”

“Well, I know you’ve been busy. The tour has been nonstop. And then there’s your extracurricular activities.”

“Do I need to clarify again that I don’t always partake in the groupies?”

She shrugged. “Honestly, I can’t blame you if you do. Not sure I would be any different in your shoes.”

“The truth is, this lifestyle gets pretty old sometimes. My bandmates may not share that opinion, but most nights I’d rather be eating a burger alone in a McDonald’s that’s about to close than fucking some groupie who’s only interested in me because of my money and fame. That’s like my dream—to just sit alone in McDonald’s and not be bothered.”

She chuckled. “I find that hard to believe, but okay…”

“Why? Anything that comes easy gets old. It’s the chase that’s exhilarating. You know what’s really exhilarating? Wanting something you can’t have. That’s exhilarating.”

“There’s not much you can’t have, Tristan Daltrey.”

“Not true.”

“Name one thing,” Emily challenged.

You. Licking a line over that little gap between your teeth.

“A normal life,” I opted to say.

“You could have that. You could quit tomorrow. Get a job at a local hardware store somewhere in Kansas. Eat your burger alone at the nearest McDonald’s at closing time.”

“When you’ve invested so much of your life in trying to achieve something, once you finally get it, it’s very hard to throw it away, even if you occasionally wish you could. I also feel like I owe it to my bandmates not to flake on them. But some days, it’s definitely tempting to walk away.” I sighed. “Anyway, I don’t feel like walking away so much when I’m talking to you. You’re the most normal person I’ve come across in a while.”

“Mundane, you mean?”

“Far from it.”

“Well, I don’t like hamburgers, so I wouldn’t be able to join you in that depressing McDonald’s that’s about to close.”

I laughed. “You make me smile, Emily, from the moment I met you. You’re real.” I lowered my voice. “And you’re one of the few people who knows what’s going on with me lately. You know…with my voice. So it feels good to be around someone I can be honest with. That’s all.”

“How is your voice?” she whispered.

“I wanted to ask what you thought after tonight’s show. Did you notice it getting better or worse?”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“I know. But you have ears.” Cute ones that stick out when you wear your hair back in a ponytail.

“You want the truth, I assume.”

Feeling a knot in my stomach, I nodded. “Yes, please.”

“You were sounding better to me after Detroit. But tonight you sounded a little worse again.”