The Rocker's Muse

He smiled back.

His gaze was electrifying, and I found myself wanting things from him in a way I had no right to. This man made me feel special. He made me feel everything. That was the last thing I’d expected.

“Thank you for sharing your secret with me,” I finally said. “I’ll pray that the situation gets better…”

“You could pray in this room and maybe one of these statues would listen.” He chuckled. “Anyway, since you’ve been so honest and told me your biggest secret, I figured I owed you one.”

I nodded, even as my heart lurched. If only that was my biggest secret.

CHAPTER 6

TRISTAN

Another night, another crappy performance.

No one besides Emily had mentioned anything about my voice being off. Did they not want to upset me, or did they truly not notice? Maybe they just didn’t want me to stop. Tonight’s concert in Minnesota had been one of my worst shows in a while. And all I wanted to do now was close my door and shut out the world. But that was hard to do on this bus with the scene playing out just beyond my bedroom.

Women laughing. The smell of weed and alcohol seeping through the crack under my door. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. If anything, this was the norm. I’d been known to party with the best of them. But lately, I needed an escape from it.

Before I could think about that further, the door to my bedroom opened. I could’ve sworn I’d locked it, yet in walked two women, a blonde and a redhead. They could’ve been twins aside from the difference in hair color. I squinted to get a better look at them. They were fucking twins. They had the same face.

Without so much as an introduction, they crawled onto my bed. I’d been lying against the headboard and straightened to sit up.

In the not-so-distant past, I might’ve reached over to the condom drawer and let them do whatever they pleased. But I’d had a shitty show, and I wasn’t in the mood to play along tonight. It took a lot to get my dick hard when I was upset about something.

The blonde leaned over and started unzipping my pants. I placed my hand over her wrist. The old Tristan would never have turned down a blow job from a gorgeous woman, no matter my mood. But tonight? I couldn’t.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’d like to be alone right now.”

“But he told me you asked for us specifically,” the blonde said.

“Who’s he?”

“Atticus.”

I shook my head. That guy was so full of shit. He was pawning these two chicks off on me because he’d probably miscalculated the number of women he told our tour manager to let on the bus.

“Well, he lied. I’m sorry. Thanks, but no thanks.”

As quickly as they’d entered my room, they left. Relief washed over me. I sat at the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. The sounds from beyond the door told me my bandmates certainly hadn’t turned anyone down tonight.

Feeling stifled, I decided I needed some air. We were set to take off for the next city in a couple of hours, so I couldn’t go very far. Grabbing my black hoodie, I left my room and waded through the illicit acts in the main cabin before exiting the bus.

The cold air against my face was a welcome sensation at first, but then I realized I was freezing my ass off. When had it gotten so cold? And damn, I wanted a cigarette right now. That would warm me up. But alas, I wouldn’t be smoking tonight; I’d quit when my voice started going to shit. I didn’t need the effects of smoking on top of everything else, even if I wasn’t always known for my great judgment. At least I’d gotten that one right.

I looked over to the bus parked across from ours. I’d bet it was mighty warm in there. I’d also bet there were no groupies to run away from. That seemed like the perfect escape right now. Didn’t it?

I walked across the lot, unsure where I was going with this. Or, did I know precisely why I was headed this way? I wanted to see Emily and ask her if I’d sounded worse to her tonight. That might’ve just been an excuse, though. I had her number; I could’ve texted.

It had been a week since the jaunt she and I took in Detroit. I hadn’t spoken to her at all since then, which was quite deliberate. Nothing good could come from her spending time with me, even if I’d had fun the last time we hung out. I’d probably divulged too much that night, but she’d made me feel comfortable.

When I stepped onto the bus, every head turned in my direction.

“What are you doing in here?” Veronica, our PR manager, asked.

“I can’t come say hello? I haven’t thanked you all lately for how hard you’ve been working.”

Veronica narrowed her eyes. “You’ve never once stepped onto our bus, Tristan…”