The Muse's Undoing

“What—Hey. What are you doing?”

“Getting some sleep.”

“I mean, why’d you stop?”

“I was only trying to make a point.”

“Fine. I’ll stop touching you. I didn’t realize it was…that it was…an issue,” I manage to force out even though it’s the wrong word on so many levels.

“It’s not an issue for me,” he says leadingly.

“Obviously it is. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Like what? That sharing a bed with a man who can’t keep his hands off me gets me hard? The better question is why doesn’t it do the same for you?’

That question makes me defensive. “It does.”

“Bullshit.”

I decide to elaborate. “Sometimes it’s just comfortable, but it’s not like I’ve never gotten hard for you.” Wow, that came out interesting.

“Good. That’s good to know,” he says, wrapping his arms around the pillow beneath his head.

“How do you want to deal with this?” I ask.

“Did you want to have sex?” he asks.

I bolt upright. “You don’t want to have sex with me, Matthew.”

“I do, actually.” He mumbles into the pillow almost like he doesn’t want me to hear it. “I have for a while.”

“What do you expect me to say to that?”

“Nothing. So stop asking questions you don’t want to hear the answers to.”

My hard on is raging with all the rocks this conversation has overturned in my head, revealing visions I thought I’d buried better. “You’re gonna go to sleep now?” I ask.

“I figured I’d try. I’m a little embarrassed.”

I go for broke, lying down behind him again and pulling him close, my cock on his ass this time. “As your older brother, I should be the one to tell you that erections are a perfectly natural response to touch and friction.”

“You’re disgusting.”

I grind against him a couple of times as a joke, but also to relieve some of the nearly unbearable ache in my groin.

He laughs. “Fischer, stop. You’re like a kid trying to ride a bull right now.”

“Because I’m such a bottom?”

“Yes.”

“This is why we can’t have sex, you know? We’d keep flipping each other over, and no one would ever win.”

“That’s what you think, huh?” he asks.

I stop grinding and settle for a tight hold, wrapping my leg around his, and locking him close to me. “That’s what I know.”

“You don’t know shit. You’ve been having sex with girls too long.”