The Muse's Undoing

“Oh. Well, in that case, nice to meet you. Bagel?” Matty holds out the bag.

“Oh,” Gavin fully blushes, waving him off. “Thanks. I can’t. Carbs.”

I gesture for Gavin to take his seat while Matthew heads into the kitchen. After talking through a few more details, I send Gavin out to drop off my suits and pick up more groceries. I’m starting on my emails when Matthew slides into the seat next to mine and drops his head on my shoulder to spy on my laptop screen.

“What are we doing?”

“Is this an existential question?” I ask.

“I’m too tired for existential.”

“Go lie down.”

He turns to rub his forehead on my arm. So sleepy… I rub his head with my free hand while I click through my inbox. He smells like the lobby, but there are still some traces of his herbal shampoo. The same one I use because he likes the smell of it. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he complains, which is pretty rich.

I remind him he’s the problem. “We’ve been working. And I think you may be in love with your muse.”

“What makes you say that?”

I make a show of checking my watch. “You’re going on what? Five months now with her? I would have to check my documentation, but I think you may have broken your own record.”

“Fuck. Really?” He taps his fingers one by one on the tabletop, and I think he’s counting the months. “Jesus, you’re right.”

“So…is it serious?”

He lifts his head and shakes it. I catch the confused frown on his face. “Five months. That’s kind of crazy.”

“It’s not like she has an expiration date,” I remind him. “I hope I didn’t just sign her death warrant by bringing that to your attention.”

“I mean…I don’t feel like anything’s changed with us,” he says, picking at his bagel.

“Meaning, she’s not asking for more, or…”

“No, she doesn’t ask for much at all. But it’s not boring, and it kinda should be, right? Isn’t that what happens when you’re with someone that long?”

“Not if it’s the right person.”

“I literally know nothing more about her than I did five months ago,” Matthew says.

“She’s still inspiring you?”

He chews his food with a thoughtful look on his face. “Yeah? Fuck, dude, now you’ve got me thinking too hard. I just wanted to eat and crash, but now you’ve got me thinking I need to be planning a conversation.”

“Easy, kiddo.” I give the back of his head a rub. “I don’t think she’s expecting a proposal just because the sex is good.”

“It’s imagery,” he says.

“The sex is?”

“Yeah…”

Not sure what he means, I let it go. But because he still looks troubled, I try to smooth out his frown lines with my thumb. “Anyway, I’m not ignoring you,” I tell him.

“You sure?”

Please. As if I could. “Never.”

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