The Muse's Undoing

One stroke, and I’m groaning down his throat. I wrap my arms around him, and he lets himself fall back, holding me to his chest. My kiss is hungry and desperate. A week of need unleashing itself. He lets me devour him, take everything I’ve missed and everything I need. His hands roam over my clothes as I feast on his mouth.

He squeezes my ass hard, and I grunt, thrusting against his abs. “Needy baby,” he says.

No shit.

I kiss him again, and this time, he slides his hands down the back of my pants, scratching marks into my ass cheeks. I lift my head to look at his face. His eyes flutter open, glazed with lust and something like relief. Something like eternal love. His lips are red and wet and so beautiful as he presses them together and arches his neck. “Don’t stop,” he says.

“I’m not.”

He uses his grip on my ass to move me over his cock, a whimper coming from him this time, and suddenly I’m getting a whole new vibe. I don’t know what we’re doing unless… “Do you…?”

He nods.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Jesus Christ, I thought I was turned on before, but my cock could etch a diamond now.

I kiss him again as he shoves my pants past my hips. His legs fall open only to wrap themselves around mine. He grinds himself against me, a hand around my neck keeping my mouth attached to his. So passionate. So desperate. Begging for something he told me he’d never ask of me, which absolutely feels like a dare, but this morning, it also feels like more.

I won’t lie and say my confidence is at an all-time high. This last week has broken me in wholly new ways, and every kiss threatens to add another fracture line. But I want him to trust me. I want him to trust all that we are and all that we’ll be—no matter what.

I lift my head again, and immediately he says, “Please…”

I help him out of his shirt. In the sunlight, all the cuts on his torso and arms are bright red and slightly puffy. His cheeks are pink, and his gaze is fevered.

“Do I need a condom?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Test was negative.”

Three words have never turned me on so much. I won’t deny I’ve wanted this. Both because it means something to me, and because I think he needs it more than he’s wanted to admit. It may not be the last wall that has to fall between us, but it’s an important one.

I pull his boxer briefs off, and he lifts his knees, exposing himself in a way I’ve never seen him. I get naked in a hurry before digging around in his nightstand to find lube.

“Are your knees okay?” he asks.

“Don’t worry about me.” I can’t feel anything but my pulsing cock and the growing need to be inside him. Whether I’ll last more than a few seconds, I can’t predict, nor can I expect he’ll ever need me like this again, but all I see when I look at him is how much he needs me now. He’s burning for it—to get the feelings fucked out of him. I hope I don’t fuck away all the good ones, too.

After I apply a liberal amount of lube to my weeping cock, I seek out his hole and brush two fingers over it. He shudders, and his jaw locks. Through gritted teeth, he says, “You don’t need to stretch me.”

“Can I do this my way, please?”

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly.

I press my other hand down on his abs, and he hikes his legs back further, flexible enough to bend himself nearly in half. His hole is wide open, pleated and pink. I slide my slick fingers inside, and he groans. Fuck, he’s white hot. “Matty, Jesus.”

I want to thank him, but I shut up. I don’t stretch him, but I do map him. I test the ring of muscle clenching around my intruding fingers, and I search out the small swell of nerves that makes him gasp. I get the feeling he’s not used to this because he’s panting. A near panicked expression on his face speaks to how vulnerable he feels. How he’s fighting himself not to rush me.

I ask him again. “You sure?”

I didn’t come here to change everything between us. I don’t need to do this to be happy with him. I love how we are—how he wants me on any given day.

He jerks his cock a few times and looks me dead in the eyes. “What do you think?”

I think I need to be inside him. Now.

Grabbing him by the hamstrings, I nudge my cockhead against him until it’s aimed directly at his hole. With a deep, shaky breath, I shove through the thin band of resistance and sink in deep.