The Muse's Undoing

He makes a deep noise of pleasure. “Mmm…thank God you changed your mind.”

It takes me several seconds to process what he just said, because he feels so intensely hot and tight. And then it clicks—I’m not wearing a condom.

“Fuck—”

And I am so goddamn close.

“Fischer—no?—”

“Matty, please…”

He’s already touching himself. Already leaking. He’s so blissed out, it’s nearly blinding. “God, oh God—” How do I stop?

Like my entire life depends on it, I catch his ass before his next plunge and yank my bare cock from his clenching hole. It immediately explodes with cum, and he growls with frustration, clawing marks onto my chest before jerking himself hard and fast until he blows his load, aiming it straight for my face.

I take it, even though I know he means it as revenge for not getting what he wanted. As he continues to unload on me, he punctuates each jet of cum with his words. “It’s not. Fucking. Fair.”

There’s not just frustration—there’s pain in his voice, and it hurts to hear. I want to give him everything.

All of me. Anything he wants. But a month ago, I was getting railed by randoms at the Plaza, and while I’ve gotten lucky in the past, I’m not stupid. I’ve risked all I’m willing to risk with him. The only one who deserves to pay for my recklessness is me.

But now that he’s chosen me, there’s a small price for him to pay, too.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“How much unprotected sex have you had, exactly?” he asks, angry.

“Not much, I don’t think.”

“You don’t think?”

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell. And…”

“What?”

I cover my eyes so I don’t have to look at him when I say this. “You know that dude you take to the men’s room for a quick BJ?”

“I’ve run across him once or twice.”

“I’m that guy.”

“Jesus.”

“I’m on PrEP,” I tell him.

He snorts. I take my hands off my eyes and squint up at him. He’s shaking his head, but I don’t get the sense he’s judging me. “You done sowing all your wild oats, then?”

I nod.

“Hmm…” His fingertips outline my mouth, then he wipes his cum off my face. “So, you fuck up, but you make smart choices, too.”

“I try.”

“You know they have rapid testing.”

“Not at the clinic I go to. I asked last week.”

He smiles faintly. “You did?”