The Muse's Undoing

42

FISCHER

Matthew’s at my apartment when I come home with Vaughn. Because I can’t carry him and walk with a cane, the poor kid has to walk, nearly dead on his feet. He brightens slightly when he sees Matty, but then quickly fades again. This Wednesday evening arrangement works great for everyone except for the two people it’s meant for—me and Vaughn.

Nicole gets a night off. Maggie and Stuart, and often Dick and Donna, get to spend time with my kid, but I get to tuck him in, feed him breakfast and send him back to his mother’s.

It’s a little ridiculous, but I’ve been so absent from his life, I’m not about to rock the boat of the custody arrangement. Nicole’s been more than accommodating. Still, I’m assuming this is what Matthew meant by logistics. I’m willing to spend every spare second I have living with Matthew, but when I’ve got Vaughn, it’s best that we’re here where he has his own room and the park nearby. And, of course, Maggie and Stuart.

This must be what Vaughn feels like—living two separate lives.

Would life be easier if Matthew could live in Manhattan? Sure. The Bronx isn’t exactly convenient.

But I love his loft. More importantly, I love him. And we do need to be together. Sharing his calendar isn’t enough. We need each other. This is who we’ve always been.

Is it crazy?

It’s fucking unhinged, and I’m thrilled.

Matthew takes Vaughn and whisks him into bed before I take my turn. “Is Uncle Matty sleeping over?” he asks with a big yawn.

I tuck the covers around him tight, the way he likes. “Maybe. Is that okay?”

“Does he snore?”

I grin. “What do you know about snoring? Who snores?”

“Hunter snores. Loud.”

“No, Matty doesn’t snore.”

“Then he can stay.” Vaughn turns to his side and slides his hands beneath his cheeks, his eyes closed.

I drop a kiss on his forehead and turn off the lamp. “Love you, bud. Good night.”

“Love you, Dad. See you later.”

After one more kiss where I inhale a lungful of his scent, I take my cane and stand. Leaving the door cracked, I return to the living room where I find Matthew on the couch with the TV on. I join him. He pulls me into his arms, and I get comfortable on my side against his chest. “Let’s figure this out,” I say.

“Where do you want to start?”

“Vaughn.”

Matthew tightens an arm around my waist. “Yeah, I guess it’s better when you have him that we’re here.”

We. I close my eyes, loving the sound of that.

“I should talk to Maggie,” he says.

I rub his chest, soaking in his warmth. “You think she’s gonna freak out?”

“I hope she can be happy for us. But yeah, she might. I’m not exactly known for keeping secrets like this.”

“To be fair, it’s not like we’ve been sleeping together for years or anything,” I say. “It’s new-ish news. I’m slightly more concerned about Dick and Donna. They don’t even know I’m bi.”

“If you want to save telling them for later, I totally get it. And we can wait on Maggie, too?—”

“No, I don’t mind her knowing,” I tell him. “She’s important to you.”