The Muse's Undoing

“Please, fuck, I wanna feel it…”

Removing my fingers, I position my cock, notching my crown against his hole. He makes a soft, pitiful sound, and I melt.

This is my Fischer. The one who used to cling to me in the night. Who wept on my shoulder in the shower when the pain and humiliation was so intense, he couldn’t contain it anymore. I’m the only one who ever got to see that side of him. And I’ll be the only one to ever see this side, too.

I bite my lip, trying to beat back the wave of feeling threatening, swallowing it down before I say something I can’t take back.

He tries to sink back on my cock, but I keep him still a moment longer. “Beg me again,” I whisper.

“Please, Matty. I need it. I need it so fucking bad.”

“Yes, princess. I know you do…”

I can’t wait anymore. I need it as badly as he does. We need this.

Holding onto his hips, I yank him onto my cock so hard his ass slams my thighs, and I sheathe myself completely inside him. His cry splits the air. His head comes up, and he takes a gulping breath. I run a hand down his back, shivering at the way his warmth engulfs me.

Holding still, I give him a chance to adjust—to accept this. I couldn’t afford to take it slower. I needed to get inside before I softened up. My first time was like this, and I remember feeling relieved that taking a cock whole was something my body could do—rather than squirming and doubting and giving myself a chance to second guess it.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I say, the throb of our bodies fused together making my voice soft and shaky.

“You’re fucking huge.”

“Pass or smash?” I ask.

He huffs a breath that almost sounds like a laugh. “Smash. The bigger the better.”

I smirk, which he can’t see, but I like him like this. Humoring me. Bent over and taking me.

“Seriously, though,” he says, taking another deep breath and grimacing. “Ask me tomorrow. I think your dick is in my lungs.”

I give his ass a few smooth rubs for that one. Touching him like this—I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. If it will ever feel anything but illicit. The fact that we could be ruining everything between us in one night is part of the rush, but it’s also terrifying.

I nudge again, this time more certain of my erection. His ass is all slick heat wrapping me up snug and tight. “Are you okay?”

“I mean, you’re right,” he huffs. “I have felt worse things.”

“Would it help if I said I’m not sure I’ve ever felt anything better?”

“Mmm…” He stretches his arms out, flattening his chest against the bed, and dropping his head to the pillow again. “Yes…”

“You ready to get fucked?”

“Yes…fuck yeah.” His voice sounds exactly like it did when he was on the high dose of narcotics. “Give it to me.”

27

FISCHER

I’ve never had sex with an adult film star, but I’m guessing this is what it must be like. The way they keep going and going and never come.

Matthew starts slow and almost casual. A few hip shifts, some banter exchanged as my poor, abused hole adjusts to having something stuffing and stretching it wide. And then, gradually he gains tempo and shuts up.

I expected him to be more careful with me, knowing it was my first time, knowing how freaked out he got over a cut on my head, but I’m glad he isn’t. I don’t think I could handle it. It’s the difference between slowly entering freezing water or taking the plunge all at once.

It’s also gratifying that he thinks I’m tough enough to take some discomfort. Although, uncomfortable isn’t how I’d describe what it feels like to have him inside me. It feels right. Perfect. I’ve never felt closer to him, and the throb of my ass stretching to accommodate him is proof that we fit.

When he starts to move, he stays in control, going at the pace of a steady heartbeat. Straight in and out strokes. Holding me by the hips, he rocks me back and forth gently. I feel like a flesh light—passive and relatively comfortable with the pillow cradling my cheek, and his thigh acting as a backstop for my ass. The burn of his sharp penetration was over almost as soon as it began, and now it’s all about coping with his length.