Lib Novel Page 44
As he heads to the door, I suddenly say, “Can I ask you something?”
Patrick has his wallet in his hand as he glances at me. “Shoot.”
“Do I have the personality of a rock?”
My friend stares at me as if I’ve suddenly grown a second head. “What?”
I look at him expectantly, and he narrows his eyes. “I don’t know. Isn’t this the sort of thing you should ask a woman? Do you think I go around thinking about your personality all day?”
“Fair point,” I shrug.
I watch Patrick leave, and my fingers tap on my knee some more as I ponder the events of last night. Sophia has a tendency to act before she thinks. While I do admire her drive to protect others, the fact that she risks her own safety to do so bothers me. Twice, I’ve had to save her.
Frustrated, I rake my fingers through my hair. What am I supposed to do? On one hand, I have to find the Silver Wolf and mate her so that I can use her powers to overthrow Queen Karina. But on the other hand, I will be sacrificing my own heart, and I will be hurting another person. Normally, I wouldn’t care. After all the humiliation and tragedy I have suffered over the years, it feels like the heart that beats inside my chest is made of stone.
“My whole life I’ve been told I’m worthless, that I’m not worthy of being loved. Am I expected to believe that my fated mate should think otherwise?”
Sophia’s words are like knives piercing that stone heart. I bury my head in my hands.
I watched her cry. I watched her reveal all the emotion she tries not to show in front of people. Even in the alleyway, she broke down. She’s scared, she’s in pain, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’ve been able to glean very little about Sophia, but I do know that she’s an orphan with no family and that the pack doesn’t entirely like her.
I didn’t approach her in the woods with any ulterior motive, but I’d had a feeling when I followed her home last night that she would do something drastic, and I was right. She tried to run away. I wonder if I should have let her. But the idea of her going so far away from me had been impossible to digest. So, I was selfish. I nudged her back toward town. But she clung to me, not wanting to go. And I didn’t want her to leave.
What am I supposed to do about this situation? Am I supposed to hurt her over and over again? Is she going to become a casualty in my pack’s fight for revenge?
Is that something I can accept?
Unable to sit still, my mind attacking itself, I get to my feet. I want to go for a walk. I need to clear my head. The pack has to come first. It always has to come first. There’s never been any doubt about that. But now, I feel torn.
Grabbing my coat, I make my way outside. Instead of heading into town, my feet take me in the other direction, toward the woods.
“I can bring you some food tomorrow, if you want.”
She’s kind. She has a soft heart. I wonder how bruised that heart is. And I wonder how many bruises I will leave on it.
I feel like a monster. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am the monster. Sophia deserves someone better than me. She deserves someone who can make her a priority.
Deep in the forest, I finally reach the stream. Looking around, I see a small backpack propped against the oak tree. I pick it up and rifle through it.
Sandwiches, fresh bread, juice bottles.
My lips curve involuntarily. She kept her word. She came all the way out here to leave this bag for the black wolf.
Suddenly, something strikes me. If she came back to this spot, does that mean she’s gone? My whole body goes still. She was worried about money. If she retrieved her stash, does that mean she’s in the wind? Panic fills me as I scan the area, but I can’t catch a scent.
Damn scent blockers!
Dropping the backpack of food, I begin sprinting in the direction of the one place I know of where she may be.
If she has run away, how am I supposed to find her without her scent? My wolf howls desperately inside the cage of my mind. Logic is flying out the window as I realize that I may never see Sophia again.
I burst past the tree line and head straight for the Dancing Bear. She’s always at the bar this time of day. She has to be there.
But when I throw open the door of the barely filled restaurant, she’s nowhere in sight. Patrick and the others look up in surprise, and Patrick lifts his hand to call me over. I slam the door shut and walk down the road, racking my brain to try to figure out where she could have gone. I’ve just passed the entrance to the alley when I hear something heavy drop to the ground. A familiar voice curses loudly, and as I turn my head to look that way, I see Sophia picking up a trash bag and tossing it in the bin.
I stay in the shadows, watching her. There are circles under her eyes. She grips the edge of the garbage can and leans her body forward. Her head lowers, and a heavy sigh leaves her mouth. Then, after straightening up, she turns around and walks back into the bar.