Lib Novel Page 40
He doesn’t care about me. Nobody does. I just wish people would just stop pretending!
The tears that slip out of my eyes are hot, and I dig my claws into his back, wanting to hurt him the way he’s hurting my heart. Even as the scent of his blood fills the air, he doesn’t move. His heartbeat is steady, and my wolf whimpers, confused. I don’t know how long we stay like this, but when he releases me, slowly, all I feel is tired. I’m no longer hyperventilating.
I want to go home. I don’t want to go back inside. I don’t want to face Noah. I just want to run away somewhere. I want to find a place where nobody can hurt me ever again.
Because that’s all people do here. Hurt me.
I wipe my eyes and pull my knees to my chest. “Can you please go now?” I don’t want Alex to be around me when I’m so vulnerable. The last person I want to see me in this state is him.
“I’m not going anywhere, Sophia,” Alex says firmly. “If you don’t want to stay here, we can go somewhere el—”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” My head shoots up, my voice hard. “Why are you sitting here, Alex? What are you trying to achieve? There’s nothing between us, so just leave!”
“You keep telling me that.” He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. “But do you really want me to leave?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but nothing comes out. The truth is, my wolf feels safe around him. As do I. But this is a false sense of security. There is no safety out there in the world for me. Nobody who will protect me but myself.
“Let me take you home, at least,” Alex says, his voice soft now.
“No.” I get to my feet, using the wall for support. “You made it very clear that you don’t want me. Do you think I trust you? Do you think that just because there’s some magical bond between us I should automatically trust you? You are the last person I would trust, Alex. I don’t trust anyone. And I’m not going to put myself in a position where you can stab me in the back. I’ve been alone my whole life, and I will be alone for the rest of my life, and I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone!”
I hear the catch in my voice, and I desperately hope that he doesn’t.
It’s killing me. His presence is a physical ache inside me. All I can think of when I look at him is that he doesn’t want me. And it hurts so much. The lonely, broken child within me desperately cries out, Why aren’t I good enough for him?
He won’t understand. Of course he won’t. And I shouldn’t expect him to.
I take a step away from him, and when he reaches for me, I slap his hand. “No. Don’t touch me. I don’t want your pity. I don’t want anything from you. I can make my own way home.”
I can see the conflict in his face, but I don’t care. I exit the alley and head away from the bar. Two blocks later, I break into a run. I sprint all the way back to my apartment. My breathing is harsh and uneven as I climb the steps. After letting myself in, I lock the door and then slump down to the floor against it, shaking like a leaf.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go, who to turn to. I wish I could talk to somebody who would understand a fraction of what I’m going through. I want to run away from this town. I can’t stay here if Noah is going to be here. He’s the Alpha Successor. And he’s an adult now. He can do anything he wants to me, and I can’t fight back. This pack doesn’t operate on justice.
Getting to my feet, panicked, I search for my essential documents. I don’t have many other things that are important to me, just one or two items. I stuff them in a backpack and say goodbye to my apartment. The only thing on my mind right now is getting out of here. I have to escape, as far away as I can. I can’t stop, even if the pack security chases after me. Not that they will. I’m pretty certain that my leaving won’t be of any concern to them.
I go downstairs and out the back door because I know there are at least two pack security members watching the entrance to my building. Even if they may not care that I’m gone, they’re not just going to let me leave. I walk quickly to the edge of the forest, and as soon as I enter the woods, I begin running. I don’t know where I’m headed, but I run. As fast and as far as I can.
Time escapes me as I keep moving. My legs are aching at some point, but I don’t stop. Breathing harshly, I ultimately have to come to a halt. I need to be smart, I think to myself dimly. I can’t just run in a random direction. I have to have a plan in place. Where am I going to go?
There are some human-dominated towns in the region, cities where shifters don’t like to live. If I go to one of those, I can blend in and disappear. I doubt anybody will go looking for me. That sounds like a solid idea.
Hearing the soft rush of water nearby, I stagger in that direction, my tongue dry. I find a small river. Sinking to my knees, I begin drinking. I’ve taken a few mouthfuls when I see a reflection opposite me. My head jerks up. There’s a large, black wolf staring at me from the other side of the stream.
My heart in my throat, I fall on my behind, staring at the beast.
It approaches me. I can’t move, frozen out of terror.
Freddy was not lying! There is a Northern wolf here in these woods. Oh Goddess, he’s going to kill me. I’m terrified out of my mind. I can’t defend myself against a shifted wolf! He’s going to be faster than me and stronger than me. Even with a weapon, I don’t think I can take him on.
He’s upon me now, and I wonder if I should just accept my fate. I squeeze my eyes shut, but instead of biting my face off, he licks my cheek and then nudges the side of my face. My eyes fly open.
He’s sitting there, watching me.
My lower lip trembles as I try to form words, but nothing aside from a squeak leaves my mouth. So much for being a fearsome cage fighter.
He doesn’t utter a sound, not so much as a growl. Instead, he settles down next to me, simply looking at me.
It’s almost as if he’s trying to get me used to his presence. I don’t move a muscle, keeping my eyes on him the whole time. As the minutes ebb by and he doesn’t attack me, I begin to relax. Finally mustering up some courage, I ask, “Who are you?”