Lib Novel Page 160
Once we’re alone, Alex squeezes my hands. “I know you don’t trust me.”
“I don’t even trust myself, Alex. I am not the right fit for you. I don’t know anything. You’re better off with—”
“But I don’t want her.” His voice is resolute. “What does she have that you don’t?”
“Power,” I say, having already thought about the answer to that question. “For starters. She can help you save your pack. I can’t do that.”
“I will still find a way to save my people, Sophia. I’m not going to sacrifice my happiness. Ever since my parents died, ever since I was handed this enormous responsibility, I’ve never once lived for myself. When I see you, I want to do that. I want to live for myself. I want to live for you. I never understood the word ‘lonely’ till I met you and then we were apart. I’ve tried my hardest to do the right thing for my pack, but I can’t do it alone anymore. I can’t do this without you. I need you.”
“I can’t help you, Alex,” I try to tell him, helplessly.
“All you have to do is exist,” he breathes. “All you have to do is look at me. All I need you to do is stand by my side. I don’t care what you can or can’t do, as long as you’re with me. As long as I can touch you and hear your voice, that’s all I need.”
His words break down the last barrier around my heart. As long as I exist, it’s enough for him. He doesn’t want anything from me; he just wants me. I want to believe him. I’ve spent my whole life wishing somebody would want me for me. Finally hearing those words, it breaks me. But as it breaks me, it also completes me.
“Why are you crying?” Alex wipes away my tears, looking horrified. “Is it something I said?”
I shake my head. “I’m not…I’m not good at this. I mean—”
“You don’t have to explain.” Alex smiles softly as his arms come to wrap around me. “You don’t have to explain anything. I understand.”
I don’t push him away this time. When he holds my chin with his thumb and forefinger and presses his lips against mine, my heart soars. There’s no explosion of heat like when he kissed me before. Instead, there’s a slow building of warmth within me, something I can only identify as happiness.
A happiness that I want to cherish.
Chapter 30
Alex Stone
Watching Sophia sleep so peacefully makes me smile. She likes to burrow into my chest.
Even though she takes scent blockers regularly, ever since we first slept together, whenever I’m around her, I always catch a whiff of her. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I like her scent, and I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
My mood turns serious as I wrap a strand of her hair around my finger. I never thought I would be lying here like this with my mate.
I still haven’t given Sophia the mating mark; I don’t want to assume she wants it just yet. I never courted her properly or did any of the things that a male is supposed to do before the female wolf allows him to mark her.
She has lashed out at me several times since we first met, but I’ve always known that none of her words held any malice. She was simply trying to protect herself. The level of mistrust Sophia has when it comes to even a ray of happiness entering her life is heartbreaking.
My fingers run through her hair, scratching her scalp, and she lets out a happy rumble, still asleep. When did I fall in love with her? I’ve tried to pinpoint one particular moment, but I guess it was all of them. Maybe it was our very first meeting, or maybe it was…
I simply don’t know.
I went from finding her reckless and annoying to constantly thinking about her, watching for her lips to curve in that half smile of hers. How could I not fall for her? Even when she is spitting mad, she’s still the most mesmerizing woman in the room.
She pretends to be sharp-tongued and mean, but she looks out for the people around her. She will put another’s safety over her own. She’s kind, but I don’t think she knows it. Her heart is delicate and already bruised.
Our wounds are different, but we’re both lonely. When I was handed responsibility after the death of my parents, it centered me and gave me a purpose. Since then, I’ve lived solely for the sake of my pack and to get revenge. Whereas Sophia…
“I have to protect myself.”
“What am I supposed to do if you change your mind?”
“You’re making me dependent on you, and that’s the last thing I need.”
“I’m not a complete lost cause.”
“I can’t help you, Alex.”