Sunshine Kisses

‘That’s a lot to unpack, Sunshine,’ Erik said, his voice low and even, and the sound combined with the warm fingers wrapped around hers was already soothing the ragged edges that had been forming in her brain. ‘For a start, Alex might be a bigshot now, but do you remember what he actually studied at uni? He should not have become as successful as he did. But even though my parents thought he was insane, they supported him because that’s what parents are supposed to do. I heard their whispered concerns about what the hell he was going to do with his life, but when he came home on weekends, they’d ask all about his degree and shower him with encouragement. They never let him see those worries. I wish your parents could have trusted you the same way.

‘And you want to talk about limited earning potential? When I chose my A-levels, my parents probably thought they were getting a doctor, maybe a pharmacist. Then I applied for environmental science. And the job I’m going into now is decent. It pays alright and it has good benefits. My parents will probably be thrilled when I tell them I’m going to have a steady, stable job with a retirement plan after I’ve spent the last three years basically being a permanent volunteer. But if they were ever concerned about the choices I’d made, they never let me see it.

‘As for you, do you believe in your research? Pegging and all?’

Abby blushed furiously. After her brain had caught up to her mouth, she’d hoped he would have forgotten that slip of the tongue. ‘I believe it’s an important subject. I just don’t know if I’m the right person to do it.’

‘You’re passionate about it, though. I could tell from the first email when you asked me to read through your proposal.’

Helping women embrace their sexuality? The very thing she wished someone could help her do? If her work made only a handful of women reject and move on from the kind of shame her desires brought her…it would be worth it.

‘And I can see it all over your face now. This matters to you. It’s a great topic. It’s an important topic. No one clutches their pearls at the thought of a guy watching hardcore porn anymore, but there’s still a stigma around women reading sexy books? Which are about so much more than the sex stuff, in addition to being objectively less harmful than a lot of porn is. So don’t sideline it or minimise it. Go for it. Do something amazing with it. And show them they were wrong for underestimating you and your books.’

It was a good thing the chair under her was solid, because Erik in supportive feminist mode was…a lot to handle. Combined with the alcohol in her system, her legs had gone weak the longer he spoke. So when he gestured to her empty glass and asked if she wanted another, she nodded. Abby was already pleasantly buzzed. Well on her way to tipsy, in fact, and a fourth drink might push her over the edge. But more time to allow her limbs to solidify again felt necessary.

Erik signalled to the bartender before excusing himself to the restroom. He’d been gone less than a minute when a warm hand touched her shoulder.

‘Abby?’

Chapter 7

Do I Wanna Know? – Arctic Monkeys

A

body slid into the seat Erik had just vacated. Striking blue eyes met hers, and Abby found herself face to pleasant, handsome face with—

‘Finn! Hi.’

‘How are you? It’s been a while.’ His smile was open, friendly. Friendlier than it should have been, considering the last time she’d seen him. They caught up politely, and she actually thought the grand British tradition of trying to avoid awkward conversations might save her, when: ‘So that guy you’re here with. Is he the reason you never texted me after that night?’

Memories of sobbing on her bedroom floor and far too many empty wine bottles flashed through her brain.

‘Erik and I are, uh, just friends.’ Even as she said it, she felt a twist in her gut. Those two little words felt wholly inadequate to describe their relationship. Always had. But. Well. They weren’t more.

‘Sure? Things looked pretty intense.’

Abby faltered, but yes. After what had happened…she was sure. ‘We’ve been friends forever. We’re just like that.’

Finn smiled and leaned closer. ‘In that case, do you want to grab another drink sometimes? When you’re not occupied with—’

‘Everything okay here?’ Erik’s normally genial voice was clipped as he wrapped a stiff arm around Abby’s shoulders. She didn’t like his tone or his posture, but muscle memory had her leaning slightly into him nonetheless.

‘Hey, man,’ Finn said, suddenly looking nervous. She wasn’t surprised. Erik had a good four inches on him, and while she couldn’t bring herself to look up at him, she knew that voice. It meant he’d dropped his usual friendly expression, leaving his face a cold mask. ‘I was just keeping your friend company while—’

‘Well, my friend’—Abby tried not to fixate on the way Erik ground out the word—‘and I should be getting to bed. We have an early start in the morning.’

Abby shot Finn an apologetic look as she hopped off her seat. She still couldn’t bring herself to face him, but she accepted Erik’s offered arm to steady her cocktail-weakened legs, already shaking slightly on her heels. He slid a tip under his still full drink before turning to lead her out.

‘Wait,’ Finn said quickly, handing a white card to her. ‘In case you lost my number.’ He looked slightly sheepish, eyes darting up at Erik, who stood beside her stonily. She pocketed it quickly.

As soon as they passed the threshold of the bar, she rounded on Erik, finally looking up at his face. Cold features stared back at her. ‘Well, that was rude.’

‘Interrupting two people having drinks to try to pick one of them up? I’d say.’

‘Not him. You.’ Abby scowled. Erik frowned. At least it was better than that blank stare. ‘You didn’t have to go all protective alpha male.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to go back and talk to Captain Preppy?’ Annoyance was clear in the twist of his mouth, but something darker flickered in his eyes. ‘Are you two friends or something?’