Sunshine Kisses

‘I didn’t need thanks, Abby. I needed you. I—I needed my friend. Seeing you like that… You were a ghost of yourself for months. And your parents didn’t even notice.’ Erik rubbed a hand roughly over his face. ‘You are the single most amazing person I know, and they still don’t realise how lucky they are that you’re their daughter.’

‘Erik…’

‘No, Abby. We’re not going to sit here and act like I was some hero when you’ve been my saving grace my whole fucking life.’

For all his unfailing support through her issues, one wouldn’t guess that steady, always dependable Erik had had his own share of mental health struggles growing up. He had been easily overwhelmed, quickly growing flustered when his environment was too stimulating. Most of his high school experience had been marred by panic attacks. With parents observant enough to realise something had been wrong, and supportive enough to raise the issue with the school, he’d been given almost a free pass to take a breather whenever things became too much. And Abby, who had refused to so much as fake a sick day, had frequently made excuses to get out of class and hang out with him in a hidden stairwell until he calmed down. It had been an open secret, one she suspected was only tolerated because he typically returned sooner if she followed him.

Only once had a teacher acknowledged it.

‘Send my regards to Mr Larsson,’ he had muttered as she left the classroom under the pretense of women’s troubles. A low hum of laughter had rippled through her peers.

It was really no wonder people had always assumed they were dating.

‘You give me way too much credit,’ Abby said quietly.

‘And you’ve never given yourself enough,’ Erik said firmly.

‘I appreciate that.’ Her heart swelled as she slowly turned the glass housing her old-fashioned. ‘Still, there’s no point defending me to them. It won’t make any difference.’

She had long since given up on gaining her parents’ approval. Of course they’d never outright say they weren’t proud of her achievements. But an excellent grade on a piece of creative writing simply received less emphatic praise than the same result on a science test.

‘It does to me. I like them. They’re not bad people. But they’re bad to you. And I can’t forgive them for that.’ Erik took a long swallow of his whiskey. Abby tore her eyes away from the slow bob of his Adam’s apple. ‘They need to be reminded how great you are. Don’t,’ he said firmly, as she opened her mouth. ‘Just take the compliment, Sunshine.’

He sounded tired. Looked it, too. Truthfully, it was time for bed. But the bourbon was sending a pleasant buzz through her. One that met the warmth spreading from her knee where it touched Erik’s under the bar, and the two were mingling pleasantly in her stomach. They shared a small smile as their eyes met, and Abby knew she wasn’t ready to say goodnight. Erik seemed to share her sentiment, ordering a second round.

‘Are you ever worried we’ll end up like them?’

Abby laughed. ‘What? Posh and neurotic? Sadly, I think I’m already there.’ She lifted her fresh drink in a salute.

Erik’s eyes crinkled in amusement. The low, warm lights of the bar sparkled in his eyes, turning them silver. A small voice in her head whispered: beautiful. ‘No. Like this holiday. This hotel. Our mums met our dads here thirty years ago and they all come back together every single year. It’s changed owners three times. And they’ve never even changed their rooms. You know they book two years in advance just to make sure they get those same rooms every time?’ Unfortunately, Abby did. ‘And your parents always stay in the room our mums were in that weekend, and my parents always stay in the room our dads were in, because that’s where—’

‘I absolutely do not need to hear about the first time my parents had sex, Erik. Please. Not again.’ Abby shuddered.

His smile widened briefly before dropping. ‘It’s just…are you ever scared our lives are going to get that routine? The same place at the same time with the same people, year after year?’

‘I’d like to think I’m destined for a little more adventure, but there’s something sweet about it. If I met the love of my life somewhere, that place would always be special to me.’ She felt Erik’s eyes on her. Looking up from her drink, she found him staring intently. He looked almost sad. They sat in silence for a few moments more, until she asked, ‘How’s work going?’

Erik’s voice turned animated as he walked her through his current project, working on a reforestation mission in the Philippines. Large swathes of forest had been taken out in a fire, and he was coordinating the restoration, planning the best species of trees to encourage biodiversity in the region, sending communications between the offices abroad and the team of locals working on the ground. When he needed a break from paperwork and screens he often found himself scrubbing in to help prepare the soil and plant the seedlings. It explained the golden tint to his skin, the extra highlights in his sandy hair, the added definition in his arms. His years abroad had suited him.

Seeing Erik so alive with excitement sent a little stab of happiness through her chest. Abby hated how much he was gone. Hated that she’d spent only two of her last seven birthdays with him. But he’d always been passionate about the environment, and hearing him talk like this, she couldn’t begrudge him a single second of the joy his job brought him.

‘I’ve actually been thinking about coming out to visit you,’ she said slowly, raising her eyes to gauge his reaction. ‘Taking some time off in June.’

‘Yeah? That’s…unfortunate.’ It was not the reaction she’d hoped for. But then his eyes lit up, transforming his face as his mouth twisted into a sly smile. ‘Since I’ll be living in London by then.’

Twelve years before

Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

I

t was one in the morning, and Erik was still awake.

Sleep often evaded him when he found himself in unfamiliar places. His own bed was safe. It smelled right. He was used to the inconsistencies in the mattress and the way the sheets felt against his skin. He’d even grown accustomed to the large, fluffy beds in the hotel they stayed in.

But this bed was new, and he hated it.

For the past few years, from the time Alex turned eleven and was deemed responsible enough to look after Erik and Abby, the three kids had been thrown into a double room together on their annual holiday. As the oldest, Alex pulled rank to get his own bed, leaving Abby and Erik to share, as was normal for them.