Sunshine Kisses

T

he first day of their families’ annual holiday was always the most relaxed, so it felt fitting that Abby would wake up gently with the natural light streaming through the open curtains. She allowed herself to revel in the warm glow for a moment, snuggling deeper into the comfort surrounding her. A sharp intake of breath occurred somewhere near her left ear before the lump behind her jerked away.

Memories of waking up to Erik wrapped around her in the middle of the night hit her like a speeding train.

‘Morning.’ His voice was barely a murmur, stretching across the sudden gulf of bed between them. ‘Sorry if I was crushing you.’

‘Oh, um, no, it was fine.’ Fine. Just fine. Definitely not the safest and most content she’d felt in months.

Considering the way Erik had bolted upon realising their position, he had not had the same experience. ‘Do you want the bathroom first? You’ll take longer than me to get ready.’

His gentle voice had teasing notes, but his face and body were set stiffly and he was barely looking at her. Abby slid from bed, hating the sudden awkwardness permeating the room.

Their physical closeness felt like a natural extension of their childhood, where they had been placed in pens to nap together and held hands while walking and kissed each other on the cheek in greeting after seeing it in a film. Those free, innocent touches hadn’t faded as they’d grown up, instead becoming a habitual part of showing affection for each other. Particularly given their history, Abby knew there was nothing more in them. Certainly not from his side.

The sting of the hot shower settling into her skin brought with it a moment of clarity: this was the first time in years they’d hung out as two single adults.

Given how much they withdrew when they were in relationships, maybe he was uncertain about reintroducing that physical element of their friendship.

Erik was—always had been—the one to initiate so many of the casual touches between them, and Abby encouraged it, only too happy to bask in that attentiveness, but if he was suddenly feeling uncomfortable with it, he only had himself to blame. He was the one constantly pulling her into his side, peppering her forehead and hair with kisses. He was the one who had pressed harder on her neck when her control slipped enough to show how much his touch could affect her.

He was the one who had done nothing to stop them sharing a bed the previous night.

If he wanted to change their dynamic, it was on him to do it.

But when he knocked on her door twenty minutes later so they could walk down to breakfast together, things felt entirely back to normal. The tightness in his jaw had eased; his posture was comfortable. He cracked a joke as he pulled her chair out. Commiserated with her as they shared a horrified glance at the sight of their mothers in spandex. This was comfortable for them. Normal.

A hot yoga session was first on their agenda for the day, and Abby allowed herself to breathe and stretch away the tension that had already begun building from only a handful of encounters with her parents.

Erik had unrolled his mat next to hers, and she studiously avoided looking at him, knowing the second they made eye contact, they would both be unable to hold in their giggles. At some point in the seven years they had missed these holidays, this class had evolved from containing wealthy women in their thirties and forties enjoying a spa week at the seaside to something resembling activity day at a senior centre. Seeing twenty sixty-year-old bottoms in the air for downward dog almost broke her composure, but as they ventured into the more complicated positions of the flow, she had to admit that most of those grandmothers were more flexible than she was. It didn’t make their shiny red faces any less amusing, but…good for them, she supposed.

Susan and Nora were giving it their all at the front of the class, but halfway through the hour Abby noticed that Peter and Andrew had mostly given up, lying on their mats on the outskirts of the group with their eyes closed. If questioned, she supposed an argument could be made for corpse pose. Appropriate, since she assumed both of them had given up the will to live. That was enough to make her look over at Erik, the risk of disturbing everyone with their laughter worth ensuring he saw it.

It was a mistake.

He was mid-flow into cobra, the muscles in his arms and back bunching as his hips rolled smoothly towards the floor. A bead of sweat trickled off his forehead, and she had the strangest desire to— No. No. No weird thoughts about Erik’s sweat. Certainly none about the way his hips moved.

Those were the rules. The ones she’d put in place to safeguard her own sanity.

Her best friend might be extremely conventionally attractive, but she could acknowledge that as an objective truth and continue with her life without fixating on it.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t had the foresight to look away from his bicep before embarking on that interior journey. And judging from his consideration of her when she broke from her trance and chanced a look at his face, he’d noticed.

Fuck.

She avoided looking even vaguely in his direction for the remainder of their session, racing to pack up her mat and blocks and bolt back to her room when they finished.

Erik was lying on her bed when she left the bathroom after her shower, and her hand went automatically to the knot in her towel, checking it was tied securely, even while some feral part of her brain wondered how bad it would be if it wasn’t. She scolded herself again.

‘“Boundaries” is really not a word in your vocabulary, is it?’

‘I understand boundaries,’ he said with a frown, gesturing to his closed eyes.

‘Then you’ll understand that you should probably leave until I’m wearing a little more than a towel,’ Abby said sweetly.

He rolled over, as if facing away from her would help the situation at all. ‘I wanted to check on you. You ran away so quickly after yoga. And you had your neck stuck in a weird twisty position for a solid five minutes back there with this really pained look on your face.’

If there had ever been a moment for the ground to swallow her up, it was her best friend casually referencing her checking him out while she stood six feet from him, practically naked.