Sink With Me

“A boy will let these demons haunt him. Do you know what a man will do?”

His brows furrow. He scratches the back of his neck deep in contemplation and glances at the lifeless body behind me, taking extra dedication to try and calm the shakes that wrack his body.

“Feed them to the sharks and move on.” He says without a waver in his voice. I guess all those days of training out on the beach with our father paid off.

“That’s right, now go to base and get a medic for Sam.”

His steps stutter while he moves back. Tilting his chin up, he takes a breath, looking over at a very pale Sam. Not the day I had in mind, but I guess it’s been a productive one.

Once he’s out of sight letting the metal door slam behind him, I turn on my heel storming Cordelia, who is desperately trying to rise to her feet only to fall back on her ass making her crawl away from each step I take.

I hate her. I hate everything she is. Her twisted head, the freckles that paint her cheeks. I even hate the ocean she holds in her eyes.

I grip the collar of her shirt, feeling the wet heat of her blood soaking the fabric and staining my hands. A flash of lightning illuminates the space highlighting her features followed by a boom of thunder. Pulling her to stand, I force her to support her weight on the tips of her toes while I make her eyes level with mine. Tears streak her cheeks while she shakes her head rapidly.

I understand now why Dutton and my father went off the rails because I too would’ve given her the world if she asked for it.

I hate how I love her.

Date: 5-17-2024

Time: 0759

I deserve this—every second. The thought doesn’t make the way he looks at me with his brows pulled low over his eyes and the small snarl on his lips any easier. I wrap my hands around his wrist, holding my weight to ease the tension in my body from being held in such an uncomfortable position.

What am I supposed to do? I don’t think “I’m sorry I had your father killed and for almost killing you multiple times, but hey I love you.” will pass.

Light filters through the few boarded windows on the lower level, streaming across his face, teasing my imagination with the idea of his features softening. Even if they aren’t, I don’t care. He’s alive and that’s all that matters.

A salty streak dips into my lips parted in an attempted apology but his mouth crashes into mine, silencing anything I could’ve said. Every thought tumbles into nothing and the scent that’s so uniquely him surrounds me. Safe. That’s what he is, it’s what he’s always been. My shoulders slump as he lowers me until my feet connect to the broken grumble below.

Everything about the kiss is different from all before. It is gentle, explorative almost. I’m sure from the outside it’s a comical sight, but the feeling is like coming up for air after being deprived for so long. He pulls back enough that he can lean his head against mine. Not a trick. His eyes are softer than before, all harsh lines from his scowl gone and forgotten.

“You could’ve killed me.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t.”

“I couldn’t.”

He snorts in response as he leans back to let his gaze travel over my form until it locks onto the very uncomfortable wound. The pad of his finger smears the blood in a gentle brush making me hiss. Not too deep to have either of us concerned but deep enough that I know if he touches it again I’m going to punch him in the throat.

“Looks like we’ll match now.”

I roll my eyes at his comment and push against his chest making him let out a chuckle that visibly shakes his shoulders. I shouldn’t have gotten this lucky when it came to him. The selfish side of me is grateful, but there’s still a nagging in the back of my head telling me I’ve done wrong or he’s going to change his mind.

“Another scar I get to make mine.” Caspian murmurs while tucking his head into the crook of my neck, brushing his lips against the skin. I think I like adrenaline a bit more now that I can feel the body heat he’s radiating through his clothes as he pushes me back toward a crate. Successfully distracting me from any thoughts that might deter my focus from anything other than the way he drags his tongue up the column of my throat.

“Real fucking adorable. Seriously. Relationship goals.” My head jolts to Sam clutching his waist. It’s good to know that nothing vital was hit. I can’t help but feel a small bit of sympathy for him. I know it sucks being stuck in the crossfire. Caspian steps away to stand over Dutton and I tense from the loss of contact. He presses his boot into the side of his head. Poor Moe. Every second was probably torture for him. There’s no telling where his head will be after this. It’s not like I have a right to question it, I don’t even know where mine is at. I don’t guess I ever have though.

I take my time to step beside Karma, careful to avoid pooling blood. I already have enough on my feet, so I’d rather not add to the scrubbing I’ll have to do later. Tide grunts in irritation as he pulls Dutton by the collar behind him. I tilt my head curiously, hiding the smirk on my face at his grumbling. At least I didn’t make the mess this time. I grimace. Okay, so the plane might be my fault, but I had good intentions.

Medics barge through both entryways carrying medical bags and pushing in gurneys with lights strapped to their heads in Sam’s direction. To no surprise Jasmine darts in behind them.

One medic steps away from Sam’s flailing arms. The sterile scent of plastic wafts through the air the closer she gets with a raised hand as she uses the other to push the frame of her glasses up the bridge of her nose. I roll my eyes. I’m not going to bite.

Bodies blur together, voices merge creating white noise, and each motion feels numb. I never genuinely sat and thought about what my life would be like when everything was done. I only ever thought of the life I once thought I wanted. What do I do now? Where do I go? What’s going to happen? I know what I want, the only problem is the gray area in between.