Savior Complex: A Small Town Love Triangle Romance

And wrong.

I set my water down and take Jordy’s hands in mine. “I’m so sorry,” I say.

“I’m sorry to you too. I wish I’d known what you were going through back then. I would have been there for you. I would have helped, or at least listened. When Nanna died, I knew how close you were to her. I was jealous.” She closes her eyes, but not before a tear escapes. “And then the baby.” She breaks into sobs, and I squeeze her hands tighter.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat, my thumb grazing over her hand.

“The funny thing is, I never even wanted kids. Not ever. Brayden did, and a part of me knew that being with him meant one of us would have to give something up. When I got pregnant, I just figured it was meant to be me. He was so happy, he proposed and everything.”

My eyes immediately fly to the ring on her finger, that huge carat diamond on her tiny finger. Now that I know the story behind that ring, I just want to crawl inside myself and die.

“I was about seven months along when it happened. Her name was Violet. You know, to continue with Nanna’s flower naming ritual.”

Violet, like Aunt Lily or my mom, Poppy.

Our mothers had rejected this naming convention when they had us. I never really thought of this before, but now I can’t help wondering why. Antonina is a mouthful of a name, and Nina is so unoriginal, it literally means “girl.” Jordan would have been Jordy’s name whether she was a girl or a boy, and is also nothing like a flower.

If I ever have a kid, I make a vow to find my own flower name. Or maybe nature names, like Olive or Juniper. Anything to make Nanna Dot smile, if she’s still looking in on us.

I’m still stuck on the reality that they were going to have a kid. She would have been my niece. If I hadn’t met Brayden that very first night, would I have fallen for him with my niece in his arms? Would I dream of kissing him if he were already married to Jordy?

“Is that why your engagement has been so long?” I ask, hating to even ask about it. I don’t want to know anything.

Jordy looks at her ring, and a wave of sadness washes over her face.

“I guess I’m not really sure what I want,” she says. “And I don’t think Brayden does either. He asked me when I was still pregnant, and our plan had been to get married a few months after she was born so that I could wear the wedding dress I wanted. But then we lost her. So we just pushed off the wedding plans, and we never picked them up again.” She looks at me then, and winces. “Sometimes it feels like we’re no longer in love, just going through the motions.”

“What do you mean? I thought you two were crazy about each other?” But even as I say it, I recognize a few things I’ve overlooked. Like how she’s never at the ranch, even though I’m sure she has time, and Brayden has never been in our house.

“I don’t know,” she says, then waves her hand as if to erase her words. “I guess things cool down when relationships leave the honeymoon phase. I thought it might feel better when I moved here, but maybe my expectations are too high.”

There is a war going on inside me. One part of me wants to tell her to break things off now, opening the door for me to swoop in. But the other part—a very small but insistent part—reminds me that even if they broke up, I can’t be with Brayden. Not when he was hers first. Even I’m aware of the family line that crosses.

But more than all that, I think of the child they lost. What if Brayden wants to try again with Jordy?

“Well, the two of you just need time,” I finally force out. “Maybe take him out on a date or something, or get away on his days off.”

“Maybe,” she says. She swirls her water, almost like she’s swirling whisky. Then she smiles at me. “Yeah, maybe. We’ve both been so busy, it would probably do us good to get away.”

My heart aches at this. Why did I even suggest it? But then again, it would have happened eventually anyway. Them going away, or her staying at the ranch, or heaven forbid, Brayden spending the night here while I slept alone upstairs.

“I guess I just feel bad,” she says thoughtfully. “I mean, Brayden was so excited to be a dad. He was ready to dive right in and talked about so many plans.”

“Well, you lost the baby too,” I point out. “It was both of your loss.”

“Yeah, but I never really wanted children. I mean, I would have had one, maybe two, for Brayden. But only for him and now that I can’t have any…”

“Wait. Like…ever?” I’m reeling from this. “Oh Jordy, I’m so sorry.” My heart hurts for Jordy, but I’m also thinking of Brayden. I don’t know how he feels about kids, but now that I know they can’t have them, I feel like it doesn’t make sense. I can’t help thinking he’d make a great father.

“We lost Violet because my uterus can’t handle a child,” Jordy says. “If I were to get pregnant again, I’d not only lose the child, but I could also die. They tied my tubes to ensure I’ll never get pregnant again.”

Poor Brayden.

“Poor you,” I say. “What about adoption? Or even surrogacy? You could have a kid that’s still yours but could just grow in another woman’s body. Have you thought about it.”

“That’s an idea,” she says. But her voice tells me she’s no longer on that page at all.

I look at the ring on her finger. Brayden gave her that when she was carrying his child. But now?