Ruined Secrets (Perfectly Imperfect #4)

“New rules.” I beat my open palm against the door. “Open the door, or I’m breaking it.”

The water shuts off, and a few seconds later, the lock turns. I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for the door to open before I continue. When it does, all I can do is stare.

“I’m listening,” I say and lean my shoulder onto the doorframe, enjoying the way Luca’s eyes are eating me up as they travel down my naked body.

“Cover yourself up.” A muscle in his jaw ticks as he bites out his words.

“I was in the middle of a shower, and I plan on continuing after you’re done with your tirade.”

“Tirade?” He takes a step forward and looks down at me. “It’s not a tirade, Isabella. It’s an order. One that you better follow.”

He’s trying really hard to focus on my face, but his eyes keep wandering downward every couple of seconds.

“Or else?” I ask.

He places his palms on the doorframe on either side of me and bends his head to whisper in my ear. “Do not provoke me, Isa.”

Isa? Oh, he must be really angry if he let that slip. I tilt my head up so my lips are nearly brushing his earlobe. “But I enjoy doing so,” I whisper back, then lick the shell of his ear with the tip of my tongue. “Very much.”

He takes a deep breath. There is a strange cracking sound to the left of me, but I don’t move, enjoying the feel of having him so close. The need to lean into him, to press my cheek to his, and bury my fingers in his hair is eating me alive, but I fight it. I need him to come to me of his own accord—because he wants to and not because I pushed him over the edge into mad lust. I’m already toeing the line as it is.

Standing before him naked was a gamble. I half expected him to succumb, but he’s still resisting. Stubborn, stubborn man.What do I have to do to make you see me, Luca? Not the girl they made you marry, but the woman who’s been in love with you for so, so long. I don’t have any more ammunition left. If he doesn’t want me after all the things I’ve done to seduce him, is there a point in continuing to try?

His head tilts slightly to the side and I feel the tip of his nose touch the side of my neck. My body goes still while my heart starts thundering in my chest as I listen to his breathing. Having his body looming over mine, and not daring to touch him, makes me want to scream in frustration.Do something, damn you!

“Go back to your shower, Isabella,” he says, then disappears through the door into his room without saying another word.

I stare at the door joining our rooms, closed now, and wonder how it’s possible to hate a fixture with such passion. Oh, how much I loathe that door and everything it represents. Sighing, I lean my back onto the doorjamb and only then do I notice it. The trim on the other side is askew, its upper part separated from the wall. I move closer to inspect the damage and trace the surfaceof the board where his hand had been with my fingertips, then head back to my shower, a wide smile plastered on my face.

Chapter 10

I grab the counter in front of me and look up at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. There’s something wrong with me. It’s the only explanation.

Tonight, after leaving Isabella naked in her room, I got into my car and drove downtown while my dick was on the verge of exploding because of how hard it was. I planned to call an escort and just be done with it. I drove around for two hours, only to get back home and find release courtesy of my own hand in the shower. Again. Thinking about the nineteen-year-old in the next room.

Damian says I’m acting irrationally, but he doesn’t understand my fear. I’m not a tender man, and my tastes where sex is concerned are not something a nineteen old girl would be okay with. If I let myself go, Isabella will probably get scared.

I always had to hold back with Simona. One time when I slipped, she avoided me for two weeks. When we passed each other around the house, she would stare at me with the look of a terrified gazelle and bolt.

I don’t think I could stomach seeing the same fear in Isabella’s eyes.

There’s something that attracts me to this girl like a magnet, but I can’t pinpoint what. It’s not only her body, which is every man’s wet dream—small with her tiny waist and the most gorgeous fucking ass I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Nor is it just herpixie face—all sharp lines and huge eyes. I can’t grasp it. I have no idea what it is, but for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about her. I keep trying to convince myself that this madness will pass, but it’s only getting worse.

Then, there’s my sick jealousy. I assigned Marco as her bodyguard for two reasons. First, because he’s the most reliable I have and won’t hesitate to get in front of a bullet for her. And second, because he’s fifty-two. Still, every day I find it harder and harder to let her go anywhere with him alone. A few days ago, when I was heading out to meet with Donato, I saw Isabella and Marco leave. I had to make myself get into my damn car and drive off immediately or I would have called Donato and canceled just so I could take her to see Andrea myself.

I have no idea what’s going on with me. When the fuck did I start losing my shit?

After washing my face, I get into bed, but sleep eludes me. I find myself staring into the darkness, wondering what I’m going to do with the little spymaster in the other room.

It’s well into the night when I hear the faint sound of a door opening. Keeping my body still and pretending I’m asleep, I crack my eyes open just a little. Isabella is standing at the threshold of our connecting rooms, a blanket wrapped around her from neck to toes. She stays there for a few moments, then tiptoes toward my bed. Carefully, she climbs up and slowly lies down, curling on the empty side with her back to me.

I wonder if Luca will be mad when he wakes up and finds me in his bed. He probably will, but I don’t give a damn at the moment. I kept tossing and turning for hours, trying to fall asleep, but my eyes kept wandering to the sofa where Luca slept the last few nights. He didn’t say anything when he came in that first time, just tossed a pillow on the end of the sofa and laid down. He didn't even undress. The sofa was way too small for him, and it couldn’t have been comfortable, but he stayed the whole night. In the morning, when I woke up, he was gone. I could do the same, just sleep here a little bit and go back to my room before he notices me.

The mattress dips behind me and my eyes snap open, but I don’t dare to move. If he thinks I’ve fallen asleep, maybe he won’t throw me out. An arm wraps around my waist and pulls me back until I’m pressed against Luca’s hard chest. He throws one leg over mine and tightens his hold, spooning me with his huge body. I can barely breathe, too shocked by his unexpected act. The blanket is the only thing separating our bodies, but I can still feel his warmth seeping into me, as well as his hard cock pressing into my backside.

He doesn’t say anything, just lies still behind me. Slowly, I reach over and take his hand, moving it off my hip to inside the folds of the blanket until it rests between my legs. His fingers brush my core through the lacy material of my panties, and I suck in a breath.

“Not tonight, tesoro,” he whispers next to my ear. “My self-control is barely hanging by a thread.”