One Dirty Night

I suddenly craved a shower.

I didn’t have the strength to be back in this house, staring at the same man who’d made me second-guess and doubt myself for eight months when all I wanted was for the man who’d sunk inside me and come a second time all because he didn’t want Hunter to be the last one I felt spurt inside me.

“Ella…I…” His face twisted as he struggled with what to say. “Tonight was—”

“Over.” I cut in, not brave enough to hear whatever excuses he was about to give. “Tonight is over. Let’s just go to sleep. I have a few errands to run today and might even go into the lab so I can—”

“Avoid me?” he asked, his eyes dark beneath furrowed brows.

Crossing my arms, I begged for courage. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s going to avoid me.”

He nodded. “It has crossed my mind.”

“So…what’s the problem?” I tipped up my chin.

“There…” He sighed and came toward me. “There is no problem. We both know where the other one stands. We shared an incredible night. I won’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy myself. But I also won’t lie by making promises I can’t keep.”

“I didn’t ask you to make any promises.”

His nostrils flared as he stopped before me. “You’re telling me that sleeping together hasn’t made you want more from me?”

More.

That damn word again.

I’d felt it.

He’d felt it.

Yet standing here now…it wasn’t enough to give me a fairy-tale ending where we lived happily ever after.

“What do you want me to say, Nick? That I’ve had a crush on you since you moved in—a crush that turned out to be far bigger than mere liking—or that I’m so cold-hearted that sleeping with you—which happened to be the best sex of my life, by the way—hasn’t affected me at all?”

“I’m not saying it didn’t affect me too, Ella. I like you. I’ve always liked you. But I meant what I said. I don’t want a relationship. With anyone. It’s not you—”

“It’s not you, it’s me? Oh please.” I threw my hands up. “That line is the worst excuse ever.”

“It’s the truth.”

Exhaustion slithered through my veins, siphoning away my fight.

Hunter’s words rang in my ears. He’d said I’d have to break Nick if I wanted him. Maybe tomorrow I’d be up for the challenge, but right now…I just wanted to be alone. “I’m going to bed.” I brushed past him. “Goodnight.”

“Wait.”

I winced as his body heat enveloped mine, drenching me in electrical currents and oversensitivity. With a quick inhale as if fortifying himself, he curled his fingers around my wrist and tugged me toward the corridor. “Come.”

I tripped behind him, shocked stupid he’d touched me willingly.

I thought…

What…what does this mean?

“Nick, what are you doing?”

He didn’t reply as he dragged me into the white and grey bathroom and trapped us inside together. My moisturiser still sat on the vanity from when I’d had a quick shower before running to the big top. My towel haphazardly tossed on the ratan hamper after I’d spritzed myself with honeysuckle perfume.

With shaking hands, he turned me around and fumbled with my zipper.