One Dirty Night

He sighed heavily as if he truly used this circus to snap people out of their straitjackets of unhappiness rather than indulging the salacious appetites of strangers. “If people only knew that by denying who they truly are—by working a job they hate and tolerating people they can’t stand—that all that annoyance and discontentment bubbles up until every part of them is triggered and offended, and then they unwittingly complete the cycle of douchebaggery by doing the same to others. They inflict those same pains and offences onto loved ones and colleagues, contributing to the never-ending problem. Instead of taking time out to remember that life is pointless if we aren’t happy, they just get worse. What’s the point in working if we’re miserable? What’s the point in living longer if we’re sick? All of it is bullshit. Life is simple. We’re here to have fun…that’s it.”

My mouth hung open.

My heart kicked with more than just physical attraction but with awe instead.

Who the hell was this self-confessed Dom who joked about keeping me barefoot and bound? What had he endured to become so weary of the world and quite frankly…scarily right about?

“Who are you?” I struggled to pick my jaw off the floor.

Hunter shrugged. “Guess you could say I’m an epicurean. A sensualist. A hedonist.”

“A what now?”

He smirked. “I believe that the pursuit of pleasure, in all forms, is the most important thing in life.”

Before I could unravel that simplistic wisdom, Hunter glowered at Nick. “Now I’ve said my piece…what about you? Care to be honest for the first time in your miserable life? Are you brave enough to be like Ella here and tell me your deepest, darkest fantasy? Because I know hers and it’s freed her enough to allow me to corrupt her.” He shrugged again. “Maybe if you tell me yours, I can do the same for you.”

Nick swallowed hard.

His thighs bunched beneath his jeans; I counted the seconds for him to stalk away, leaving a cloud of rage in his wake.

Only…

He didn’t leave.

He stayed.

He raised a trembling hand and squeezed his nape. He sucked in a breath and slouched as if he couldn’t keep fighting whatever it was that haunted him.

My stomach twisted for him.

For the sudden flash of vulnerability.

The cavernous ache in his eyes.

The loneliness that I’d never noticed before, but now bled off him in such torrents I couldn’t believe I’d never seen.

All those nights I put his attitude down to disdain.

All those curt replies…

Maybe he wasn’t being nasty but using his coldness as a shield? A way to protect whatever part of himself that was hurting.

It didn’t excuse his behaviour, but it did make my anger unravel into the smallest strings of forgiveness.

“Nick…it’s okay,” I whispered, hating how lost he looked. “Let’s just forget we saw each other tonight and—”

“You want to hear my ultimate fantasy?” Nick choked, his eyes locked on Hunter. “Fine.” Dropping his arm, he balled his hand and pointed a finger at me. “I want her. I’ve wanted her since the very first moment I moved in. I want her when I jerk off in the shower. I want her when I work late at night. I want her every damn second of every damn day, and I can’t get the damn images out of my head. I can’t stop imagining what it would be like to gag that gorgeous mouth of hers and stop her from trying to be my friend. What it would be like to rip off those tight, teasing yoga leggings she wears at night and bury my cock inside her.”

His eyes snapped to mine, his voice turning thick with gravel. “I want you, Ella. I want you so much I can scarcely breathe. I can’t be around you because I’m always moments away from grabbing you and fucking you against the wall. I’ve never touched you because if I did, you’d be naked and spread and I’d be inside you before you could even give me permission. When you do housework for us, it drives me insane because not only do I want to fuck you but watching you do that sort of stuff makes me want to keep you too. It’s far too easy to see a domestic little future with you, and that terrifies me because I’m not ready for that. I don’t want that. I don’t want to want you, and I don’t…I can’t…fuck. I-I wish I could get rid of this need because it’s driving me fucking crazy.”

Hunter chuckled. “There now, do you feel better?”

Nick gave a strangled laugh. “Hell no. I feel flayed alive.”

“Yes but lighter too, no doubt. No longer choking on the truth.”

“But…” I hugged myself. “I thought you hated me.”