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“That it’s probably just a dead animal a predator left behind and I should get rid of it for you.”
“Okay, then.”
His eyes flicked to my chest and he looked away.
Dang it, I kept forgetting I wasn’t wearing a bra. I crossed my arms and tried to hunch a little so my nips weren’t poking out so much. “Do you mind getting rid of it?”
“I’ll do it.”
“Wait, what are you going to do with it? Because if you fling it into the woods or even bury it, Max will definitely find it and I’ll wind up with a dog covered in rotting squirrel stink.”
He sighed, like I was taking up too much of his time. “I’ll double bag it and put it in the dumpster.”
I glanced at it again, tilting my head. “Should we have a funeral?”
“What?”
“The poor thing deserves better than to wind up in a dumpster with no one to mourn him.”
Josiah looked at me like I’d just suggested we eat it for dinner. “It’s a squirrel.”
“I know but I feel bad. We don’t have to do anything fancy. Just get it in the bag ready to go in the dumpster and let me say a few words before you toss it in.”
He shook his head and went back to the other house. I thought about going inside to put on a bra but then I’d have to deal with Max. He was at the front window watching me, and as soon as I opened the door, he’d go straight for the squirrel.
At least my tank top wasn’t white?
A few minutes later, Josiah came back with a pair of gloves and two plastic garbage bags. I didn’t watch while he picked up the squirrel and bagged it. I didn’t mean to be such a baby, but I had issues with things like blood and guts and dead stuff.
“Got it,” Josiah said. “What do you want me to do now?”
I hated to throw it in the dumpster like garbage, but I hadn’t been kidding when I’d said Max would find it or dig it up. I appeased my guilt by telling myself that if we put it in the dumpster, Max wouldn’t be able to desecrate the body.
“Let’s take it over there but don’t toss it in yet.”
Josiah’s face was stony. At a glance, he seemed irritated with me. And I couldn’t exactly blame him. A funeral service for a squirrel was pretty silly. But he was also indulging me, and I wasn’t sure why.
I decided not to overthink it and get this over with so he didn’t have to keep holding a bag with a dead animal in it.
We walked over to the dumpster. He held the bag just below where he’d tied it closed, keeping it slightly away from himself.
“Okay, I guess I’ll start,” I said.
“And you’ll finish.”
That made me laugh a little. “Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today – um – I don’t actually know how that’s supposed to go. Let me start over.” I took a deep breath. “The life of a wild animal, even a little Tilikum squirrel, is hard and fraught with danger. Although this small creature met its end, we appreciate its role in nature. May it rest in a land of abundant nuts.”
Josiah cracked a smile.
I about died right there. I didn’t even care that he was smiling at an unintended nuts joke like a twelve-year-old boy. That smile could be my undoing.
“Go ahead and put it in its final resting place.”
He tossed the bag into the dumpster.
“I guess that’s that.”
Josiah looked at me again, but his eyes didn’t stray to my chest. His brow furrowed slightly, as if he didn’t know what to make of me. “Call me if anything else weird happens.”