Lib Novel Page 7
“He’s not stepping foot out of that lab until he’s created what we need,” Rayo warns me. “And as long as that takes, you belong to us. You understand?”
I nod, slowly. I hate this. I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. My head is a mess right now, after everything that’s happened today, and the sight of my dad like that is almost more than I can take.
“I understand,” I mutter. Rayo drops my face and chuckles.
He spits at my feet. “Good,” he replies. “Don’t make me remind you.”
He heads for the door, pulling it shut with a loud bang that makes me jump. I finally crumple to the ground and let the tears begin to fall. I can’t do this, I can’t. I can’t live like this, I can’t keep doing this, knowing what my father is going through.
But what choice do I have? I wipe away my tears as best I can, and look at myself in the small mirror over the bathroom sink. My face is caked in make-up that looks downright clownish to me now. I grab a towel and begin to scrub it off. I want to be clean, I want to be free of all of this. I don’t want to see the woman I had to pretend to be staring back at me in the mirror for another moment.
I rip off the clothes and climb into a scalding-hot shower, just to feel something. My whole body feels numb, like this is happening to someone else entirely. But I need to pull myself together and remind myself that it is happening to me. There are no two ways about it. I need to step up and do what needs to be done, whatever that looks like.
And right now, it means finding some way to contact that member of the Kings who fucked me tonight. It’s not like he gave me a name or number to go on, no, he probably thinks I’m just another one of the club sluts who throws themselves at any man in a Kings vest. I need to be smarter than that. But I have his cash in my purse, and that has to count for something. That has to give me something in the way of leverage, right? I can use that to lure him somewhere, maybe get him alone, get him talking to me. If I can get him into bed again, or rather, up against a wall, he might let his guard down and give me something worth using, something to keep Rayo off my back.
I sit on the edge of the bed, and pull out the cigarettes, lighting one and sucking down the smoke to distract myself for a moment. I know I’m going to need to quit when all of this is over, but right now, I need whatever coping mechanism I can find to get me through this.
Because I know the only thing I’m going to be able to think about tonight is the look on my father’s face in that video, and the helplessness I feel.
CHAPTER 7
MALO
Irub my hand over my face, trying to pull myself together. I know I can’t give away the reality of what’s going through my head right now, or the guys are going to be on to me. The last thing I need them to know is just how bad I have let things get these last few weeks.
I can still feel the buzz of what I snorted at the back of my mind, that ugly, jagged sensation filling my head as I try to come back down to Earth. I finished it after I went back to my place, and spent most of the night drinking, trying to give myself enough of a buzz to put me to sleep. I think I managed all of about an hour before I came into church this morning, and I can tell from the way some of the guys are looking at me that they’ve clocked it.
This can’t last. It’s only a matter of time before this mess that’s going on inside my head spills out into the real world, and I don’t want to deal with the blowback when that happens. Sure, there’s a part of me that just wants to give in—slide back into all the bad habits I had before. They’d been there for a reason, right? Because they had worked. They work to turn my brain off, at least for a little while, and after the way I have been torturing myself recently, maybe that’s what I need more than anything else.
Once church is over, I’m about to head outside for some fresh air, in the hopes of scrubbing the last of this high from my head, but before I can, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I find Rook standing behind me, his eyes narrowed as he looks me up and down.
“You okay, man?” he asks, and his words are slightly barbed, as though he already knows the answer.
I nod quickly. “I’m fine,” I lie, hoping he can’t see how wide my pupils are. The last thing I need is all of them getting concerned about what’s going on with me. I can handle it, I just need to keep it to myself. This doesn’t need to turn into a problem.
“You got your pick-up?” he asks, lifting his chin. He’s referring to the money from some of the other businesses the MC has their hands in. I reach into my pocket, where I left it last night – but when I go to pull it out, nothing’s there. Hijo de puta!
“I left it back in my room,” I lie again, hoping he can’t see the panic in my eyes. My mind’s racing as I try to figure out where it might have gone, and then, all at once, it hits me: Last night, after I hooked up with that girl. She had put her arms around me, I thought she was just flirting with me, but what if she’d been stealing from me instead?
“All right, well,” Rook replies. “Make sure you have it by tomorrow. You’re going to need it.”
“Right, right,” I mutter. “Thanks for reminding me.”
I manage to make small talk with him long enough to get him off my back, and when I slip away, I shoot back off to the Deadman’s Hand to see if anyone got that bitch’s name. I’m sure she’s the one who took that money from me, as I wasn’t on my game last night. She must have seen that, and spotted a chance to make some quick cash. When I get my hands on her…
I arrive back at the bar and stalk around the outside, making sure that there’s no sign of the cash anywhere. I don’t want to go off on this girl unless I have a good reason to, that would just cause more trouble than it’s worth. The back door is propped open and Paulo, one of the bartenders, is smoking outside.
“Hey, man,” he greets me. “I have something for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” I say, trying to keep the relief out of my voice. I must have dropped the money, and someone picked it up and handed it in, knowing they couldn’t take it without getting in some serious trouble. Might make me look bad, but sure as hell better than not having it at all.
“Yeah, some girl came in earlier, said she had something for you,” he replies, jerking his head inside and indicating for me to follow him. I stalk into the bar, the smell of booze in the air making my stomach lurch. I swallowed down the nausea. There are more important things for me to worry about right now.
Paulo rummages behind the bar, and eventually pulls out a small envelope. He hands it to me, and I weigh it in my hand as I walk away. Doesn’t feel like it’s big enough to contain my money…
Outside, I tear it open, and find nothing but a single scrap of paper in there, with an address scrawled on it. What the fuck? I stare down at it. Is this where she’s keeping my shit? She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to go along with this for a fucking second. That money is mine, and I’m not about to let some girl send me running all over the city to find it.
I let out a grunt of annoyance and stuff the envelope into my back pocket. I need to turn over my place before I go out there. I’m not going on a wild goose chase to get something that might just have fallen out of my pocket while I was out of it the night before.