Love, Utley (Love Letters #1)

I think about that damn paper football, and the pressure building behind my eyes is too much.

“Can you please leave?” I ask quietly.

“It’s not like that.” Maddox takes another step closer, and I focus my gaze on the center of his chest. “I didn’t go because I’d already heard you’d left. And I was mad that you left without telling me.”

I drag my eyes back up to his. “Heard from who?”

“This— some girl. She said she overheard you telling people you were transferring back home.”

I shake my head. “I never told anyone, Maddox. I sent an email to my boss, but I never said the words out loud to anyone. You were basically the only person on campus who knew I existed.”

And he didn’t even look for me.

Fuck, this all hurts as much today as it did back then.

FORTY-SIX

MADDOX

“Please leave.” She’s back to not meeting my eyes. “Now. Please.”

I shift my weight, starting to step forward.

I don’t want to go.

I don’t want to leave her, looking like I just broke her heart all over again.

But she’s asking me to leave.

“Alright.” I step back.

I’ll do what she asks now, but this conversation isn’t over.

I turn and take the two strides to the door.

When I pull it open, my gaze is drawn to the bookshelf right next to my shoulder.

And there, on the shelf in Hannah’s bedroom, is a book with a label taped to the spine showing that it’s property of the HOP U Library.

The book.

My copy of The Count of Monte Cristo that went missing after our night together.

The one she read to me, with my chin resting on her shoulder and her voice filling my mind.

I step out of Hannah’s room and into the hallway.

All these years, and she kept the book.

FORTY-SEVEN

HANNAH

I sink onto my bed, confused and sad.

For so many years, I wanted to have this conversation with Maddox, but now that it’s done, I don’t actually feel any better.

FORTY-EIGHT