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It was either get over it, or make that move and see.
A casual goodnight kiss at the door, she decided. And she’d know if they equaled hang-out buddies or had the potential for more.
He reached for the pizza box just as she turned. Bodies bumped. For one humming second, eyes locked.
“Sorry.” He took a full step back.
No casual kiss at the door then, but…
“Are you sorry because you are or because you think you should be? If it’s the first, I’ll stop wondering. If it’s the second, I’d like to know why.”
“I’m sorry I think I should be.”
“All right, sort of. But that doesn’t answer the why.”
“First off, the firm represents Collin’s estate.”
“Your father represents the estate, and my interests.”
“We’re a family firm.”
“Okay, but… I kind of looked it up.”
The faintest hint of a smile came into his eyes, then curved his lips. “Did you?”
“I thought it might, possibly, become an issue. My take is, I’m not actually your client, and even if I were, you’d continue to representme competently. And, at your father’s advice, I hired a lawyer in Boston. I’m not going to date him.”
“Good policy.”
“Especially since he’s my mother’s boss. But you said first off. If you’re not attracted that way, then—”
“You’re not a stupid woman, by any measure. But that’s the beginning of a very stupid statement.” He slid his hands into his pockets. “The way I see it, you’ve had a lot of major upheaval in less than a year. You called off your wedding.”
“That’s right. I think that’s the sensible thing to do when finding your fiancé in bed with your cousin, don’t you?”
“Sensible doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt.”
“I was pissed. Shocked, and that still grates because it makes me a fool. And pissed, which is better. But I’m a little ashamed to admit I wasn’t as hurt as I should have been. As I would have been if I’d loved him the way I thought I did. The way I should have loved a man I was going to marry. But he wasn’t the man I thought he was, andthatmakes me a fool.”
“You’re not—”
Fire snapped into her eyes as she jabbed a finger at him and stopped him cold.
“I knew something wasn’t right. I knew it, but I kept telling myself it was wedding jitters. I don’t generally get jitters, but, well, I never planned a wedding before. And he wanted exactly the opposite of what I did. I wanted lovely and intimate and romantic, and he insisted on…”
She waved her arms in the air. “Big, fancy ballroom in the big, fancy hotel with a few hundred of our not-so-close friends, top-shelf open bar, and on and on. We looked at houses, and I wanted something like this. Not this scale, but I wanted a house with history and character, which is why this place had me at first sight. And he wanted sleek, modern, new, important neighborhood. I kept giving in, which isn’t like me either. Why did I keep giving in? Because I’d said yes, and I thought I loved him.
“Fuck!”
After grabbing her wineglass, she circled the kitchen while he stood and watched her. While both dogs sat and watched her.
“I’m shelling out ridiculous amounts of money for deposits because I’d said yes. Because it felt like we had more in common than not, and the sex was fine. So don’t tell me I’m not stupid, don’t tell me I wasn’t a fool when I was. On the day, the very day I walked in on him and Tracie, I canceled an appointment with the breathtakingly expensive florist because I just couldn’t take it. I needed a break, all the while telling myself it was just wedding jitters.”
She glugged some wine. “My ass! And there they were, their clothes scattered along the way to the bedroom. And if I had loved him, it shut off just like that!”
She snapped her fingers. “All I felt was pissed off and disgusted. I kicked them both out ofmyhouse. Both of them mostly naked. That was satisfying.”
She drank more wine. “With him claiming it didn’t mean anything, she came on to him, he just slipped. And that was it for me, but he wouldn’t leave it alone. He went to our bosses and strung them some bullshit about me having a little breakdown when I had no intention of telling them what he’d done. But he’s going to lay it all on me? Just hell no. So I told them, and we thought we’d worked it out. I loved working there, and they’d see to it we didn’t work on the same projects. He obviously didn’t love me, so he’d get over it, and we’d both move on.