Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase (Spooky Boys #3)

“There,” Mutt moved to the other side, sucking and rubbing his tongue along it for a few blissful seconds before he pulled back. “Better?”

“Y-yeah,” I shivered, even though they weren’t any warmer. In fact, after having the wet hot heat of his mouth on them, the chilly night air was only worse.

“Why do you lie?” Mutt laughed, crowding into my space, all that wet, golden muscle on full display. Not that it was really gold. Not anymore—not beneath the pale caress of moonlight. His eyes flickered, and I knew he could smell my arousal, and that only made it feel sweeter.

“It feels more natural to lie than to tell the truth,” I admitted, surprised by how easy it was to tell him the truth.

“Why?” Mutt asked, and I figured that was fair.

I knew I had a fucked up past. But he…maybe didn’t. For a second, I debated blowing him off. Or lying again. But…there was something about the way he was looking at me that made that impossible.

His eyes said, you’re safe.

They said, I’m here.

They said, I will love you no matter what you say.

“Sometimes I don’t even know I’m lying,” I admitted, voice hoarse. “Not until after the words come out. I guess I just…got so used to trying to please everyone, I forgot it was a choice.” Mutt was quiet, patient. One of his hands moved to the nape of my neck, squeezing tight.

It felt different to be on the receiving end of that strength.

But good too.

I melted, lashes fluttering, and my truths came spilling out—falling like dominos. Like it didn’t hurt at all. Because it didn’t. Because Mutt was a safe space. It’d just taken me a while to realize that, because I’d never had one before.

“My parents were self-proclaimed martyrs with enough money, they never learned how to be real people,” I said softly. “We were props,” I added, voice quiet. “The only way to get attention was to do what they wanted. I was so…so hungry I just…”

“Hungry?”

“Not for food.”

“I understand,” he said softly. “There are two kinds of hunger.”

“Exactly.” The warm grip of his hand soothed me. “I was always nervous, scared,” I admitted. “And they didn’t like that—so I hid, and hid. Pretended to be someone I’m not so they’d like me more. But it didn’t work. And the hunger only got worse. And then I made a mistake—” My voice cracked. “I trusted the wrong person. I thought she could love me the way they didn’t—and because of me, people got hurt, and I got…even more lost.”

“Everyone gets lost sometimes,” Mutt said softly, dipping his head down, his lovely dark lashes kissing his cheeks. “And everyone makes mistakes.”

“Yeah but mine were really bad,” I admitted, my voice shaking. “And I’m still paying for them.”

“Who?”

“What do you mean?” I didn’t understand.

“Who are you paying for them?”

I blinked.

I blinked again, confused—my jaw fell open, then shut again with a click. “I…don’t…know.”

“It is okay to feel confused.” Mutt said softly. “It is okay to have regrets. But who is benefiting from your kill?” He was picking his words very carefully and I could tell, his focus written all over his face. “Who are you feeding? It is not you. Regret does not feed your soul. And the only people who benefit from what you continue to pay are the people who hurt you.” Theo had said Mutt wasn’t much of a talker. And that made his words even sweeter. They carried weight with them that lingered even after he’d stopped speaking. “Maybe it is time to stop hunting. Maybe it is time to find your way home. Maybe you have punished yourself long enough.”

“What if I can’t stop? What if I’m always lost?”

“Then I will come to you.” Mutt replied immediately. “Until I breathe my last breath, I will chase you. We can be lost together.”

It was an odd declaration, especially from a man I barely knew. A man that wasn’t supposed to mean as much to me as he did. A man that was a liar, just like I was—but that I couldn’t blame, because his intentions had been pure.

Mutt may have originally been a one-night stand, but he wasn’t anymore.