Hey Jude (Lennox Valley Chronicles #1)

“Oof. Okay.” Nat rubs her forehead, frowning. “This isn’t good.”

“Of course this isn’t good!” I throw up my hands, feeling helpless. “What can I do? How do I deal with Sean? He’s not in his right mind. I don’t even know what drugs he’s using.” I drag both hands over my hair, blowing out a breath.

“I mean… I think we need to go to the police. He threatened you,” she says carefully.

“I don’t know if the police will take this seriously. He said he was going to come see me. Does that count as a threat?” I hug my arms tightly around my waist. “I feel sick thinking about him showing up here but… I don’t think that’s an actual threat. Legally, I mean.”

“Yeah, good point. Shit.” Nat puts her hands on her hips, looking at the ground and frowning.

“So, like, what can I do? He doesn’t know where I live… or where I work, which is good. But beyond that?”

We stand there in silence.

“I hate this,” Nat says.

“Yeah, me too.” I rub at my forehead, my brows knit with tension.

Nat looks up at the climbing rope for a moment, then back at me. “Okay. You promise me if he contacts you again… or if anything else happens with Sean, you’ll tell me right away?” She raises her eyebrows, searching for confirmation that I won’t hide anything more from her. “And, if he makes a tangible threat, we’ll get you a restraining order or something.”

I relent. “Okay, yes, I promise. I’m sorry. I know I should’ve told you.” I shrug. “But, like I said to Jude, I was just hoping each time was the last time. That’s not delusional, right? Or naïve? A reasonable person would listen to the word no, right?”

“No, you were not delusional or naïve.” Nat gives me a serious look. “There’s no manual for this stuff, Len.” Hearing her confirm that gives me a sense of relief. I look up at the sky and take another deep breath.

I look back at her, shaking my head. “I’m so pissed.”

“You have every right to be,” she replies simply.

“Because what I had with Jude…” I try to keep my voice steady. “You should’ve seen his face, Nat. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me.”

“Hey, look. You’re a human being. You’re allowed to make mistakes. And you’re allowed to be going through some complicated shit, remember?” She raises her eyebrows at me.

I nod, looking at my feet.

“If Jude truly cares about you… if he’s your person? He’ll find a way to understand where you’re coming from.”

I give her a dubious look. The memory of Jude’s pained expression this morning haunts me.

“But Len,” Nat adds gently, “Jude isn’t wrong.”

I frown. “What?”

“You should have told him. Just like you should have told me.” Nat pauses. “Sean’s a fucking asshole, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not the only reason Jude walked out. Getting threatened… That’s a pretty high-stakes thing to keep from someone. Shit, I’m a bit pissed at you too!” She gives me a pointed look.

I squeeze my eyes shut. “I know.” She’s right; I’ve fucked up too. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And Jude.” Probably something to unpack with that therapist…

“Look, there’s no shame in asking for help. And you have to tell your people when scary shit happens to you.” She gives me a little shrug. “That’s what we’re here for.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” I hate this. It was easier when I could just blame Sean for everything.

“Hey, I forgive you. Just doing my bullshit-calling duty.” She pauses, rolling her eyes. “Again,” she adds with a cheeky smile.

I narrow my eyes at her. “You’re annoyingly good at it.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, smiling with her eyebrows raised.

“Thank you.” I roll my eyes.

“That’s more like it.” She gathers me in for a tight hug, then pulls back, reaching for the climbing rope. “Okay, my turn.”